


The Lieutenant

by sweetkyloren



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Attempted Sexual Assault, Character Death, Confrontations, Discussion of Abortion, Dubious Consent, F/M, Fighting, Fingerfucking, Fluff, Good Kylo Ren, Hate Fuck, Humiliation, Intimidation, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Major Character Injury, Mind the Tags, Oral Sex, POV Female Character, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Recovery, Self-Defense, Smut, Spanking, Surprises, Unplanned Pregnancy, dubcon, read the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-05-03 03:27:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14559846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetkyloren/pseuds/sweetkyloren
Summary: A low life, nobody Stormtrooper; that's all you were and ever hoped to be. You took what you were given in life and rolled with it... Until Kylo Ren came crashing into your life, changing everything you believed you knew about the so called Jedi Killer.





	1. Chapter 1

Your promotion to Lieutenant had been a surprise for you, yes you were favoured by your superiors but you still had not expected it. You had a high success and kill rate but at the end of the day you were only a Stormtrooper. Faceless amongst the crowds, you blended in with the hundreds. When you had been informed that General Hux wanted you in his office you didn’t fret like many others would, you carried the confidence to know there was no issue with your work ethic or productivity but there was still the niggling curiosity that swithered in your mind.  
  
Your gloves hands pressed a digit on the pad to his office, seeking permission to enter. It was only a moment before the usual hissing sound filled your ears and the door shot open. You carried yourself into the room, Hux already behind the desk with his hands clasped firmly together in front of him.  
  
“General Hux, sir,” you waited a moment,  
  
“At ease,” his voice was as firm as it always was. You took his direction, placing yourself down on the opposite seat before taking the trooper helmet off and resting it in your lap. A moments silence passed, you couldn’t help swallow slightly, just to break the noise and make yourself prominently known.  
  
“IA-1607,” your ears perked at the sound of your name. Catching his eye you nodded in response, “another job well done on today’s mission,”  
  
“Thank you sir,” General Hux stood, turning his back to look down at the hanger below him. TIE fighters roared from the base, troopers and pilots alike tending to ships and to weapons.  
  
“You won’t hear this often, if even at all, however it has been decided amongst some of us that your job well dones should now be recognised,” he turned again looking down at you. You could feel your mind telling you what this meant, the possibilities and even the disappointment. Would this be something or would it be nothing? Hux continued, “Captain Phasma notes you have gone from strength to strength, and that you may now be a waste,” your mouth dry you opened your mouth to speak, to defend yourself, “a waste to the trooper program but a significant gain to the First Order,”  
  
“Sorry sir, I’m not sure I understand?” Your voice sounded quieter than normal, not quite yourself. He spoke your name again,  
  
“Would the title of Lieutenant make more sense?”  
  
The voices in your mind had already begun to celebrate. You envisioned corks setting off, music playing and the noise of cheering.  
  
“General Hux...” you began, not even sure what to think, what to say. “I... Sir, I am beyond honoured... this is quite a promotion though? I’m only-“  
  
“A squad leader, I know however the position has opened up and we felt you were the obvious candidate,”  
  
“We, sir?”  
  
“Myself, Phasma... Ren had his input as well.”  
  
Kylo Ren. Leader of the Knights of Ren. Jedi killer. You had seen him on many of the First Order’s bases, usually terrorising one of the many officers. You were pleased to say you had not met his acquaintance. Hux sat back down and met your gaze, you started again.  
  
“Thank you General... I’m in shock, I’m not sure what to say,” a breath escaped you, almost a light hearted laugh. You could feel your eyes were lit up, pride radiating through your body.  
  
“Well accepting would be a start,” there was a hint of amusement in his voice and you grinned.  
  
“Of course sir, absolutely sir,” the unfamiliar sound of your laughter filled your ears again. Hux clasped his hands together once more and began speaking of the new duties you would now undertake. When he mentioned receiving your officer’s uniform you sunk slightly.  
  
“General Hux, sir...” you had interrupted him in between his taking of breath. “Sorry sir... I just wanted to clarify, I’ll no longer be a trooper?” He nodded sharply. Pursing your lips you thought about it. No longer would you have your trooper name, nor would you travel to far away planets to battle. “May I request something sir?” You could see the curiosity in his eyes, not sure where you were going with it. Without coming up with any small rehearsal in your head you began speaking,  
  
“Sir, the trooper program that you and Phasma have created is... flawless. As you can tell from my work, I have enjoyed it and strode to perfection in the role, be it fighting or helping the newcomers. Sir… may I request to stay a part of it?”  
  
Hux leant back in his seat. The confusion danced across his face, taking in your words.  
  
“You don’t want the promotion?” His lips tightened into a thin line and you raised your hand in protest.  
  
“Not at all, what I mean is... I would bask in the role of Lieutenant but I want to stay involved with the trooper program. I won’t lie sir, I find myself striving in the environment and I feel I can make many more feel the same and bring results like how I bring results. Would you let me sir?”  
  
The thin line of his lips had disappeared, his face casting almost a look of pride.  
  
“If you can handle the work load then I don’t see why not. Most find trooper training to be mundane but I can’t deny you would create and mould some fine soldiers.”  
  
The meeting ended not long after that. He called you by your real name, no longer IA-1607 but your birth name. It felt so foreign to you but the sure sign to a fresh start.  
  
_Lieutenant_.  
  
And now, here you were; marching to one of the main war rooms and strategizing rooms where many of your fellow officers were no doubt along with General Hux and Captain Phasma. Today was a rare day in which you were in your officers uniform, light grey and light in weight you made your way to your destination, you balanced a data pad in your hand, occasionally looking up so as not to walk into someone or something. The ship was a maze of long, short, twisted and bent corridors. Placed here blindfolded and who knows where you would end up. Luckily, you knew it like the back of your hand so much so your shortcuts meant you arrived before some other high ranking officers but already the room had an air of frustration, you could feel the tension the moment you entered the room. General Hux nodded briefly at you in recognition and began speaking to the room again. You caught yourself up, eyes skimming over the presentation that was being projected on the far wall. More people came and went, occasionally you greeted some of them before noting your attention back to Hux and taking notes on your data pad.

The idea of storming a resistance base was the now the focus. Not an altogether smart idea as it was a new base that the First Order had only discovered. The projected images showed the planet with magnified photos; birds eye views, hangers, bases, even the all too familiar image of X-Wings lined up. No, this was far too nice an image for your liking. There would be more than met the eye.

“Lieutenant,” one of the higher ranking officers spoke to you, “you have much experience in the field. Your thoughts would be appreciated,” the room stopped and looked to you. You cleared your throat but were cut short by the door opening and a new figure entering the room. You saw a flash of black billowing robes.

Who was this man? This dark, handsome man?

“Ah Commander Ren, thank you for joining us,” Hux spoke, a hint of disdain in his voice.

This was Kylo Ren? No, surely not? This was different. This wasn’t the same Kylo Ren you had seen storming across the hanger, it wasn’t the same Kylo Ren who’s lightsaber had caused so much damage to the ship, it wasn’t the same Kylo Ren you saw drag a full grown man across the room with only the twitch of his fingers.

Your eyes settled on him as he walked through the door, no no no, this couldn’t be Kylo Ren. His maskless face was something you never anticipated seeing, mainly because you didn’t know he _had_ a face, you thought the mask was Kylo. He entered deeper into the room. You were surprised to see no one else looking around in bewilderment. Apparently an unmasked Kylo Ren wasn’t out of the ordinary.

Kylo Ren stalked across the room; his face was framed by thick raven hair. His jaw was clenched, you looked at him from the corner of your eye, his jawline in this clenched state looked like a piece of art, carved by the Makers themselves. No quicker had you thought it you felt yourself being watched. Not shy of confrontation you looked up and it happened; you inhaled sharply. Kylo, opposite you staring at you with eyes so dark yet so warm you felt your insides melt. It came out of nowhere and you had no control, your body so shocked you lost hold of it. The gasp had been quiet enough that you didn’t draw attention to yourself, except from your Commander in front of you. His head cocked to the side, eyes still focussed on you.

“Lieutenant,” Hux spoke, breaking your thought process and bringing you back to reality. “Your opinion?”

You met Hux’s stare, your mind was blank like someone had just erased the last twenty minutes of your memory. You looked at the data pad in front of you, to the projected image on the wall and back to Hux. The sound of yourself stuttering shocked you, _what is the matter with you?!_ You looked down again at your notes, trying to hide your stutter you spoke,

“Sorry, excuse me Sir. So, by looking at the satellite data and then looking at the lack of knowledge I would strongly advise against going ahead with this. We just do not know enough about the base, even the terrain… I would not feel comfortable leading my platoon into a full scale invasion.”

Hux stood with his hands behind his back, you could see him thinking; the cogs in his head turning as he processed your words. You kept your eyes on the General, sure to avoid eye contact with Commander Ren. Hux spoke quietly with another few officers while you willed yourself not to look across the desk and meet the intense stare of Kylo.

“On this occasion we go ahead with this plan-

“Sir, you can’t be serious?” you interrupted General Hux, the shock and dismay evident in your voice. His head turned to look at you again, “Forgive me but I can’t lead a squadron on to a planet I know nothing about-“

“Lieutenant, I ask you to remind yourself of your place in this room,” Hux’s voice was sharp, his lips thin with annoyance. “This could be a step to Skywalker, to end the Jedi-“

“All the more reason for them to hide it! General, if Luke Skywalker was hiding there do you think they would not hide their base better? They’d be as well inviting us over!”

“Enough Lieutenant!”

The room fell silent, you didn’t realise you had sat up in your straight in your seat. General Hux as well as the other officers looked at you, frustration etched on their faces. “You will ready a team together now. I don’t want another moment wasted,” you were quick on your feet, walking away from the seat and past your superior officer,

“Yes sir.”

 

**

 

You were nervous on the assault lander. Unbeknown to your comrades and colleagues under the Stormtrooper mask but you were; you were undoubtedly nervous. You had no idea how many missions you had been on with the First Order but you definitely knew that today was the first time you felt sick with nerves. You didn’t have the whole picture, you didn’t know all the information. Before you boarded the assault lander you had tried reasoning with General Hux, to let yourself and a handful of your best troopers to enter the planet on a small expedition, but it fell on deaf ears. You stood at the front of the doors, waiting for the ramp to open, to let you on to this mysterious planet. You weren’t even sure it was a planet, was it a moon? That’s how little you knew about it. You were hyper aware of your breathing and how hard it filtered through your mask, your fingers gripped the blaster gun tightly. The sound of your beating heart drummed in your ears, this was so foreign to you. Being scared had never affected your body in this way but you knew deep down it was because you were right; this was a doomed mission. When the ramp had lowered and touched the bare surface of this new world your body hesitantly made its way down, with your hand up you made it clear you wanted your troopers to stay behind until you did a patrol of the area. You heard everything in your mask, the ground beneath your boots, the whip of wind in the air and most of all the silence of what is seemingly a busy Resistance base. Your fingers twitched in the air and your troopers followed you. The terrain was what you had seen in the war room. It was bare from where you stood, a mass of stone and rock. In the distance you could see a forest of bare and dead trees, was it beyond the grave of trees you would find a base? You didn’t like that it was open land, there was nothing between you, the troops and the trees. You moved across with a small jog, you had the urgency to move out of the open but you resisted the temptation to run to the safety and cover of thick branches. Your eyes moved around, looking for anything that was a red flag.

“Lieutenant!” the sharp but distorted cry from behind you was enough for you to trip over your feet, you hadn’t hit the floor yet when a roar exploded in your ears. Like in slow motion your body slammed against the hard ground, the hard uniform taking the brunt of the fall. You raised your head and the roar continued, mouth falling agape you saw a fleet of low flying X-Wings coming towards you all. You remember screaming at your platoon to retreat, to return to the atmospheric assault lander. You remember watching the X-Wings reading your every move, their guns aimed for your transport and shooting. The sound of it exploding shook you, parts of the ship shooting across the sky and raining over you. Your troops ran to the covered ground, taking refuge in the high density forest. You scrambled to your feet and ran with them. You couldn’t go back, go back to what? You looked frantically around you, thankful to see the troopers already in the dense forest. You tried to contact the First Order; nothing. It was silent, dead, nothing but static. It was a dead planet. You felt flustered and angry, why had no one listened?

Moving through the forest quickly with the troops, you ran but no idea where to. The barrage from the X-Wings was relentless, the trees had erupted into flames. Bile rose in your throat when you saw one of your own, a trooper lying on the ground while blood poured from the body. You wanted to help but your body moved away, fingers pressing the trigger on your blaster aiming at the X-Wings above you. The forest you thought would protect you was now alight, flames eating the forest whole while you all battled your way out of it. Your body changed direction, leading the troops west and out of the forest. That’s when the Resistance ground troops flew into action, firing in all directions. The Stormtroopers you lead moved as they had been trained to do, shot their weapons as they had been instructed to. All around you bodies were dropping like flies, Stormtroopers and resistance troopers alike. You dropped your first emptied blaster, reaching to your to the spare located on the back of your thigh, even in that small space of time you found yourself unarmed a resistance soldier had spotted it and shot; the heat from the weapon seared through your skin below your shoulder. The cry from your throat was hoarse and raw, reaching your spare blaster you shot back, hitting the solider square in the chest. You looked down, the white of your armour shone red with your blood.

Above you an X-Wing had been shot and began hurtling towards the ground, you began to move with your troops again running and shooting at anything you could, your breath was short and laboured as you ran, your eyes flickering towards  the open wound that was draining everything from you; blood, energy, fight.  There was a whistling coming from above you, the X-Wing was out of control, the noise got louder and louder penetrating your ear drums, you thought they were going to explode.

You didn’t run fast enough, the X-Wing crashed. Although behind you, the velocity that it had hit the ground shook everything around you, it felt like the ground beneath you was going to split open. The sheer violence of something that size smashing into the ground was enough to throw you and in this case it did, the shock waves from the crash lifted you. Your body moved through the air at a speed that felt like it equalled that of the falling X-Wing. It felt like a lifetime of movement, a lifetime of stomach churning and burning eyes. When your body finally hit the ground not even your betaplast First Order armour could brace your body for the impact. It felt like every bone had split from top to bottom. You don’t remember screaming but from the amount of pain that coursed through you you probably had done. After that everything seemed eerily still, your head turned looking for signs of life and death. A fellow Stormtrooper lay near, you focused your eyes and watched; there was no movement, they lay dead. You tried to call his name. Your voice was crackled and weak. You could see the trooper ID on his chest plate; your friend was dead and you would be too. You weren’t sure how long you stared at him for, praying for his chest to start rising and falling but it never happened. You don’t remember when your surroundings seemed to quiet around you, nor do you remember being awake for it at all. Were you slipping in and out of consciousness or did time simply slip from you?

You remember seeing Death though; the black towering figure loomed over you silently. Your head cocked to the side, trying to see Death’s face. You heard him speak your name and you smiled; you smiled hard under your mask, he was taking you, freeing you. You knew peace was coming and that you could let go so you did, your body relaxed. Your concern for the blood that still flowed from the open wound seemed to slip too; _I didn’t know I could bleed so much and live to see it._ You could feel your gloved fingers rubbing together, the blood smeared easily between your digits. Death spoke your name again; _don’t rush me, I’m dying as quick as I can._ You grimaced when Death took you in its arms, the pain did not numb like you thought it would. It was then you began to sob and very slowly your eyes shut.

 

**

 

Alarms were ringing all around you, there was panicked cries and firm yelling. Your ears seemed to sting with the sudden intrusion of noise. Your lungs suddenly contracted and you began to choke, you could feel yourself spluttering, your body was slowly suffocating but as quickly as it came your lungs opened again and your body drank in oxygen. You could hear yourself gulping air while gasping, tears streamed down your face as your body tried to regain itself. There was an overwhelming urge to cry, to scream but when your mouth opened nothing came out. Your eyes tried focusing but everything was a blur, things moved by you quickly, they moved close to your body speaking to you in words you could not make out. You drank more air and the overwhelming feeling arose again, you looked around trying to recognise anything. Death. Death watched you struggle, it’s tall form stood motionless. The overwhelming sensation took over you again; you looked to the side away from Death’s gaze. You tried to swallow more air but it was useless, the feeling rose up your throat and you began to choke again.

“The Lieutenant is going to be sick,”

A voice alerted the moving objects around you and within seconds your body was being moved and you were on your side throwing up the contents of your stomach. The cry you had long been waiting to sound came after and you howled. In pain, in fear, in dread. You couldn’t stop once you started, your limbs thrashed, the fear was consuming you and you were losing control. You felt your mind contracting much like how you lungs had done earlier, something was trying to calm you but it was too late for that now; you were uncontrollable. Your screams came to a halt when you felt a sharp sting just below your shoulder, your vocal chords rested, your body stilled and your eyes shut for the second time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kylo will make an appearance in chapter 2 and I hope you think it's worth the wait.  
> Comments and kudos are nice, they keep the world going round :)  
> Thank you to everyone has read and to my beta Allison! It means a whole lot and makes me very happy x


	2. Chapter 2

The second time you woke up couldn’t be any more different to the first time you did. Your eyes fluttered open, it took a few attempts of focussing your eyesight to the room around you and when you did you realised you were home, maybe not in your own quarters in your own bed but you were back with the First Order and in a medical bay. The first thing you were aware of was the nasal cannula placed at your nostrils, the steady stream of oxygen entering your system. Your fingers played with it for a moment, you needed to be sure this was real. Satisfied, you looked around the room. Your eyes met with the flexpoly bacta cast that covered your left leg, it covered from your ankle up to the top of your thigh. You had seen people being treated in bacta suits before but to see yourself being treated by one took you by surprise. You couldn’t help but let your fingers trace over your leg, examining the material. You can’t remember feeling specific pain in your leg, when and what had happened? At that you remembered you had been shot, that pain you remember. Your eyes glanced down, your trooper uniform had been discarded and you were only dressed in a black hospital gown, it would have covered you more had your casted leg not prevented the material slipping down your leg. You took a breath and peeked down the gown, you gazed at your naked body under the material, it was bruised; incredibly bruised. Your eyes shifted and looked at the new scar just to the left of where your heart was, maybe even closer to where your body connected to your arm underneath your armpit. The scar was round, maybe similar size of to the width of a watch face, it was supple and pink, still healing. You dreaded to think how your back looked with an exit wound.

“Ah, Lieutenant! You’re awake,”

Your fingers dropped the material of your gown at the sudden intrusion. One of the First Order’s doctors had entered the room, you recognised him but his name slipped your mind. “How are you feeling?” he continued, he stopped at the end of your bed and began reading through his data pad, presumably at your medical notes. You cleared your throat,

“Pretty thirsty,” your voice was cracked and hoarse. The small act of those two words drained you, you had never been in a situation like this, never felt so weak. A wave of emotion overcame you, looking to the ceiling you blinked away your tears careful not to show true emotion to your colleague. The doctor passed a small container of water to you, your arm shakily reached and took it, while your mouth took in the cold flow of water you noticed an IV drip in your arm. How long had you been out? The doctor took the water from your hands and walked the room again, his eyes focused on the data pad.

“How’s your pain?” his eyes met yours briefly, you managed to bring your shoulders into a shrug.

“Fine I guess, whatever you have done seems to have worked.”

He smiled appreciatively at you before making a few adjustments to the data pad. He looked at your leg, explained the type of break you had and how you had presumably sustained it from the blast from the falling X-Wing. _Ahh… I remember that._ He moved to your back, slowly bracing your body to move forward so he could inspect the wound to which he mentioned was healing nicely. He continued to speak about your recovery but you weren’t really taking it in, where were your troopers? You had been put in a private room, perks of being an officer you guessed but you wanted to know how everyone was. Your thought process was broken at the sound of your door opening again, your eyes glanced sideways to the figure walking in the room and you gasped, again.

It felt like weeks, months ago that you saw Kylo Ren’s face for the first time yet just like the first time the air was knocked out of you. He strode into the room and you noticed his helmet under his arm, his dark eyes glanced to the doctor and after a moment of awkward silence the doctor left. You were frighteningly aware of yourself dressed in nothing but a medical gown, when you walked around the base you wore a pristine officers uniform, a uniform of the First Order screamed authority and control. When you weren’t in the beautifully tailored uniform you were in your trooper uniform. Showing skin was not something anyone did and you couldn’t quite remember the last time another person saw you this bare. You tried burying your toes into the bedsheets, to hide yourself from Commander Ren.

His eyes almost sparkled as he looked at you, the sparkle was momentary and finally he rested to meet your gaze.

“Lieutenant,”

You had never heard his voice unfiltered, it was surprisingly soft and almost instantly you felt your shoulders loosen. He strode forward and looked at the abandoned data pad, you wanted to object but the moment the thought entered your head he drifted past it and to the other side of the room.

“What happened?” you voice broke at the words, the thought of your missing troopers was beginning to take its toll on you. Ren looked over his shoulder for a fleeting second and back to stare out the window into open space.

“You were ambushed,”

“So I was right then?” you cut him off, the palms of your hands pushed you up the bed slightly. Pain riddled your body and you groaned, Kylo turned to face you and watch you struggle. “Hux made us go to that planet! I warned him, I warned all of you-“

“Yes, you were right Lieutenant,” you hadn’t expected Ren to be so calm at your reaction, “it was seen by Supreme Leader Snoke to punish Hux for this… error in judgement.”

“Error? Are you kidding? People died! They were blown to pieces in front of me and this could have been avoided!”

“I am aware, thank you”

“You’re aware? What do you mean you’re aware?” You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, flinching slightly at the needle in your arm nipping at your skin. Ren turned around, his hands were clasped behind his back and he watched you again. His eyes locking on you made you feel so vulnerable, you broke the contact and looked down at your leg.

“When we hadn’t heard from you or the pilots we realised something was wrong. We came down and found the resistance… the problem was quickly eradicated and then it became a rescue mission,” he walked around the bed and to the other side of you, “I found you in a ditch, half dead.”

Kylo Ren had found you? You thought back, you thought about the tall, dark figure that watched over your dying body, which had spoken your name, not Lieutenant or IA-1607 but your _real_ name. You thought it had been Death watching you, getting ready to claim you. Death had taken you in its arms and taken you away. “You’d be dead if I hadn’t found you,” his voice carried over you and a lump in your throat formed. Kylo Ren had saved you. You tried to remember seeing his face but you could only remember Death’s gentle voice, the same gentle voice that spoke to you now. His voice stirred in your head, he had been in the room with you. You looked up,

“You were here,”

You heard a small murmur in the back of his throat. You didn’t realise you had been sat up straight until your body fell back against the pillows. “Thank you.” His shoulders moved into a small shrug. “How many did we lose?”

“Twenty six,” before you could reply or even show a hint of emotion he spoke again “I’ll leave you to your recovery.”

You watched him leave and saw the door shut, all the while tears streamed down your face.

 

* * *

 

The next few days passed in a blur of physiotherapy and sleep. The cast had been removed from your leg and you were forced to move it for hours on end but without the therapy you wouldn’t be cleared to go back to your troopers. The intense pain it brought knocked you out for hours at time and nearly every time you woke up it was with a jolt, your body covered in a thin sheen of sweat.

“Another nightmare Lieutenant?” One of the nurses looked up from her desk watching your body rising and falling, while your hand covered your face. You nodded and sighed, “It’s more than common, I won’t be surprised if you have post-traumatic stress,” you sat up in your bed and sighed, the light from the nurses station bothered your vision.

“It’s not that,” you muttered. She was right, post-traumatic stress was fairly common throughout a lot of the combat troopers. You had seen body parts taken off in a clean movement but that’s not what you were dreaming about. You had done nothing but dream about Kylo Ren. Your visions of Death had become quite literal and he was Kylo Ren, it was always the same dream. His hands wrapped tightly around your neck, determination in his dark eyes. You woke just as you screamed at him, always the same.

“I can get you some sleeping medication if you want?” the nurse was still looking at you. Shaking your head you readjusted your pillows and lay back down.

“No, I’m out of here tomorrow and I want a clear head. I’ll be fine,” your eyes shut and Kylo Ren’s face invaded your mind once again.

 

* * *

 

You couldn’t deny it was nice to be in your own quarters, you wish you weren’t on bed rest but you took what you were given. You asked an officer to bring the report from the mission, you needed to know every last detail of what had happened. You were pacing your room, flicking through the data pad quickly. You shook your head, it was clear as clear as day itself, no one should have went near that planet. Twenty six people died for nothing. The report went on to say that once all injured and dead had been recovered the base was searched and of course, there was no map to Skywalker. You muttered to yourself in annoyance, cursing every damned person in that war room. You took little pleasure in the fact Snoke had punished Hux for his indiscretion, you still felt the need to scream at him. Probably just as well you were on bed rest, yelling at General Hux wouldn’t look good.

You chewed on your lip nervously, re-reading the report in case you had missed something. Checking to see if there was anything else you could have done to save some people. The doors to your room began to beep incisively at you signalling the arrival of a visitor. You walked to the door, your leg just that bit heavier than normal while your hands still fiddled with the data pad, you were highlighting parts of the report and making side notes that you intended to follow up on. Without looking at the monitor you granted access to the visitor and the door opened, you looked up; Kylo Ren. Your head clouded with the images from your nightmares, the same sheen of sweat that you woke up in most nights seemed to instantly flush on your skin and you gulped.

“Com-Commander Ren,” your voice was so quiet as you addressed him. His head cocked to the side like it had done a few days ago in the war room and that same sensation of your stomach plummeting to your feet knocked the air out of you.

“Lieutenant… may I come in?” you nodded slowly, turning on your heel to allow him into your room. You noticed the data pad shaking in your hands, the hiss of your door shutting filled your ears. “I brought you… something,” the gentle voice carried over to you, enticing you to turn around and face him. The plummeting feeling you had around Ren for the last few days was replaced by a small gathering of butterflies and warmth. He held a tray in his hand with two plates, wafts of comforting aromas filled your nostrils. “Hospital food is no way to make a full recovery,”

“Commander… you did not need to do this,” you approached him in disbelief, looking at the two plates full of food. He laid the tray down careful and looked at you,

“I did… I wanted to,” you looked down at the dish, “it’s Nuna meat, it’s usually reserved for the likes of Hux and I but I felt…” he stopped and took a breath, “I wanted you to try some,” you smiled.

“Thank you Commander, it looks delicious… you’re not wrong about the med bay food,” you pulled a chair and sat down, you still couldn’t believe the meal in front of you. You became aware of the tall figure next to you, his eyes bright and alive. You pushed the seat out next to you, “I assume there are two plates for a reason Commander,” you saw his chest puff slightly, debating what to do with himself, “I can’t eat two of these,” you continued. You wanted to know what he was thinking as he sat down hesitantly, he huffed again.

You both ate in silence, you felt amused by the situation. Here you were eating what most people considered the ultimate luxury with the man you had been dreaming about, the man who had been trying to kill you in those dreams. You tried not to salivate over the meal but you hadn’t tasted anything this wonderful before, you almost wished he hadn’t given you it knowing it would be the first and last time you’d eat it. It was so surreal to watch Ren eat, not all that long ago you didn’t know he was human and here was enjoying the same food you were. You swallowed a mouthful of the imported fresh vegetables and looked at him, “why did you feel the need to do this?” your words caught him off guard and he side glanced you.

“You should never have gone to that planet,” you nodded, agreeing with his words. “I wanted that map to Skywalker…” you gulped another mouthful of food. “Hux may have had the final word but I wanted the map.”

You weren’t sure what to do with the information Ren had just said aloud. Going to the planet may have been his idea but as Ren had said, Hux made that final decision. You pushed some food around the plate,

“Would you have let us go down there had you known?” you breathed out gently and watched for a reaction, Ren shook his head slowly.

“I may be seen as a… a Tyrant around here but… I wouldn’t knowingly send you all to your deaths.”

You watched his face but he didn’t falter, the sincerity dripped from his mouth yet he continued to hide behind his black hair. You nodded.

“Thank you Commander.”

A silence overcame you both, you couldn’t decide whether it was comfortable or awkward. A small part of you was glad he had been so forthcoming but had he been the root problem? You studied his face; his eyes were dark and undeniably looked sad, his eyebrows furrowed. You felt drawn to him, like you needed to comfort him, you could feel your hand twitching to grasp his. Your eyes met his again but he quickly stood, his sudden movement startled you. His body backed away, looking towards to the door almost desperately.

“Commander,” you began and stood up with him, “it’s okay…” you took a step towards him,

“I almost killed you,” his voice was unlike anything you had ever heard from another human, “I could hear you,” you watched his body stiffen, his leather clad hand clenched. Your face must have expressed confusion and he continued, “as soon as I landed on the planet… I heard you crying,”

You shook your head, “that isn’t possible Commander,” how could it be? The distance you had covered in the short period you were on the planet, you had been nowhere your landing place. He shook his head, raising a hand to his head.

“The Force Lieutenant, I heard you through the Force… I still hear it,” his fingers brushed over his temple and it seemed to echo, your desperate sobs filled your mind. You choked on the air, the sound of yourself so frantic terrified you. Tears brimmed in your eyes looking at your superior, “I hear your dreams every night, your screams pierce my skull Lieutenant… I heard you, just now…”

“What? What do you mean, I didn’t say anything!” you gasped almost breathlessly, this wasn’t making sense.

“How can you want to comfort me?” he whispered, he seemed as confused as you were. “Just then,” he pointed to the now abandoned table and chairs, “you wanted to make me feel better,” you watched him, his jaw clenched and he stared at you, looking for answers. “I almost killed you…” he whispered your name quietly. Almost instantly you took a step forward, the sound of your name rolling off his tongue lifted you.

“I can see your remorse… it felt like the right thing to do. You apologised, you sought forgiveness… you seek comfort now and I felt it,” he edged forward.

“Why do you dream that I’m killing you?” his question caught you off guard, how did he know your dreams? Your hands began to shake, “are you scared of me?”

At that moment you were scared, you felt more vulnerable now than when he had seen you in the med bay. You couldn’t make sense of what was happening, why was your Commander in your mind? You couldn’t find the words but took another step closer, your body drawn to him. “What if you were mistaken?” his voice floated over you, coarse yet soft but so endearing. You visualised the dream but it was the same image, Kylo Ren’s hands wrapped around your throat while his golden eyes bore into yours. “It doesn’t make sense, does it?” you looked at the floor and tried to make sense of it. He was right; what reason would he have to kill you? In the midst of the confusion your bodies moved closer together again, you would need to look up to meet his gaze now. Your hands were noticeably shaking, your emotions were at the edge, ready to spill over. Your lungs constricted violently when you felt his gloved hand at your chin, pushing it up to meet his eyes. “What if I showed you what you were really dreaming about?” his hand was still pressed against your chin, rubbing your skin ever so slightly. “Would you let me show you?”

You felt your throat itching to answer but nothing came out; you were hopelessly lost in his eyes. His hand moved from your chin to stroke up the line of your jaw, you pushed yourself into his hand relishing the sensation of cool leather on your skin. It was barely a whisper but he had heard you, he heard the word ‘okay’ fall from your mouth and it was all he needed, he had your approval. His hand gripped your cheek that little bit tighter and he moved in. His lips pushed against yours in one fluid motion, your body began to crumble beneath his touch, his hand stayed firm on your cheek while the other moved to your waist, balancing your body. The fingers from his hand moved up the side of your face, grazing around your neck to push you closer into his lips. It was a very gentle kiss, you were in too much shock from the evenings events to really kiss him back. You were too caught up in his hand clutching your waist, his fingers stroking the skin behind your ear. You felt like there should have been conflict within you, a voice crying for you to stop him, something yelling at you to stop your commanding officer but your mind was a blissful silence and you smiled. You could feel your lips pulling at which point Kylo pulled away. His eyes questioned you, looking at your lips to see your smile, you almost felt a chill through you at the loss of contact so you mirrored his move. You leant up on tipped toes and returned the kiss and although you had instigated it this time it in no way meant you were in control of it. The hand that was still on your waist snaked around your body so that he pulled you closer to him, your chests were pushed together and this time Kylo began to move his lips feverishly against yours, your tongues met at once; your ears prickled at the soft moan that travelled up your throat. You wanted to remember every detail about this moment, the way the leather of his gloves chilled your skin, the way he tasted; although you had both just eaten a rather large meal you couldn’t trace it, he was sweet like honey and you knew you wanted to drown in it.

A shiver of thrill lit at the base of your neck and shot down your body to your legs when you felt Kylo Ren pushing your body backwards. Your arms instinctively wrapped around his broad shoulders, your lips broke contact while your neck fell backwards, you breathed in deeply but exhaled it almost instantly when you felt Kylo attach his lips to your neck, the same floundering moan escaped you when his teeth nipped at your skin. You managed to look down just as he looked up, the view was impeccable; strands of hair had fallen over his face, his lips plump and red with arousal. His gaze pierced through you and the electrifying shot that had passed through your body moments ago shot through you again but this time it settled in between your thighs. You watched him carefully taking in the small beauty spots that were scattered amongst his strong features, the cupid bow of his lip so perfect; you were almost full of regret that you hadn’t seen his face sooner, you had definitely been missing out. You watched his hand leave your face where it met his mouth, he took a finger in his mouth and bit, removing the leather from his fingers and letting it drop the floor. He did the same to the other hand, all the while still holding your body against his. You moved together again until you fell backwards Kylo letting you go, your body hitting the bed with a soft thump. Edged up on your elbows you watched Kylo reach to your stomach, he fluttered at the hem of your tshirt. It was only then you realised how much of a slob you probably looked; an old tshirt with no bra to push up your assets and a pair of fairly worn pyjama bottoms.

“Don’t,” his voice was quiet, you met his gaze trying to ignore the storm of butterflies in your stomach, he was so close to touching the skin beneath your clothes. “Don’t think badly of yourself,” he continued. Both of his hands gripped the tshirt and he began lifting it, you sat forward, letting him pull the clothing over and above your head. His lip quivered very subtlety, much like you had done to his face he mapped your bare body with hungry eyes. You saw him stop to look at the wound on your shoulder, although healed it still looked fresh while bruises ranged from your hips up to your shoulders. He almost stood backwards, but you were too quick; your fingers grabbed for his pulling him closer to you.

“I’m fine,” you kept pulling him so that he too hit the bed, he landed on top of you almost gracefully. “Touch me Commander,” taking one last glance at your bruised body he raised his hand to your breast and began kissing you again. You sighed into the kiss and began to lie back, letting him straddle your body, his legs either side of you. Both hands met your breasts squeezing them, playing with the sensitive skin on your nipples. You arched into his body, letting your hips meet his pelvis where you could feel his erection. Breaking the kiss you moaned for the first time, he moved to your neck again placing wet kisses across your skin, reaching to your collarbone he open mouth kissed it before sucking hard on the skin, your hands began trace to his side and up his back, desperate for more contact. He broke the kiss to your collarbone with a loud _pop_ , you looked at the bright purple bruise flaked with red blood at the surface of your skin. His thumb brushed over it, admiring the work from his mouth. His eyes stayed with you while his hands moved to a clasp at each shoulder, once undone he gripped the edge of his tunic and pulled it over his head. You both stared at each other, Kylo’s hand grazed down your chest and stomach letting it rest there. Moving his body he came to stand over your body to make quick of your pyjama bottoms, dragging them down your legs quickly discarding them. There was a momentary glance of surprise from Kylo when he saw you bare with no underwear to remove. Coyly, you crossed your legs and again leant on your elbows waiting for his next move. His lips twitched to smile, he unclasped the tie on the front of his pants letting them fall, he too naked beneath the first layer of clothing. A wave of warmth spread through your pussy and the sight of Kylo Ren naked, his cock was undoubtedly impressive; you couldn’t help but swallow. You had not been with a man for some time now, sure you and some troopers fooled around. Everyone did it but since your promotion you had put a stop to fraternising with them.

Kylo leant down momentarily, removing his clothing and boots before moving to the edge of the bed. Taking a hold of your ankles he dragged you closer to his body; instinctively you wrapped your legs around him ignoring the pain that flashed through your healing bone. His breathing was deep but even, his hand stroking the inside of your thigh; the sensation alone caused your body to spasm. Your fingers laced with his, forcing him to touch your now aching cunt. His fingers brushed up your folds, toying with your flesh, opening your folds to admire your wetness. He cupped your mound and began to massage you, the palm of his hand grazed your clit, the sensation flowed through every nerve causing a sharp cry to emerge from your mouth. Kylo’s eyes flickered to yours but quickly back to your centre, his fingers rubbed your throbbing clit mercilessly, his movements became messy but you didn’t care, the longer his fingers were on you the better. You could feel your thighs glistening with your wetness, the sight of his hand pleasuring you was hypnotising.

When Kylo moved his hand away from you looked at him helplessly, he gripped his own cock and his second hand cupped you again only to clutch himself with his now wet hand, Kylo looked at you and slowly pushed himself into your readied cunt. You moaned in unison, the sensation of him filling you made your body shudder all over, your back arched up from the bed; you were already panting. You felt him shift his weight, he pushed into you slipping deeper into your body and stilled. Your hands clawed the bedsheets frantically, your body struggling to register that it could stretch so much and yet be inundated with such raw pleasure. His break was short, his callused hands were on your hips gripping your flushed skin. His face was contorted into an expression of determination and arousal. With a shuddering sigh he began to rock into your body, your body stretched letting the sensation of being fucked reach every part of your body. With his hands gripping your hips he pushed you down to meet his thrusts, the action made your throat strain, crying out loudly. Your ears filled with the sound of your skin slapping together, it was almost too much for you, breathing deeply you tried to pace your body. Kylo removed one of his hands, it dragged up your body clutching your breast while he still pushed himself into you. You watched his head roll back, his hard breathing pushed the hair from his eyes, you watched the muscles in his throat straining. His quiet demeanour ended when you arched your body again, you felt your walls tighten around his thick dick and so did he; he groaned, his eyes shutting tightly. From there his thrusts were so hard that your body was pushed up the bed, he puffed heavily and tapped your leg with his hand, you dropped your legs from his waist and moaned at the loss of Kylo leaving your body, his hand rubbed himself and he looked at your bare pussy.

You almost groaned in frustration at the lack of contact, albeit for a few seconds. You raised your head from the bed just in time to see Kylo drop to his knees, “you didn’t honestly think I wasn’t going to taste your soaking cunt?”

If there was ever a sentence you thought you’d never hear from Commander Ren’s lips, that was it. You hadn’t met another being who could bring you to the point of orgasm with words alone. A needy moan filled in the air, he had you reeling; you needed him again, be it fucking you; fingering you, eating you. You needed to feel him. You watched him carefully, he trailed a line of kisses up your thigh delaying what you wanted by seconds. His mouth attached your clit, sucking the bundle of nerves softly. He swivelled his tongue around you to then kissing you, the sounds from his mouth and the sensations he brought to your shaking body were edging you closer and closer to the inevitable orgasm that was going to rocket through your body. You felt your thighs clenching around his head, pushing him closer into your cunt. You were teetering on the edge, your body trembled with every lick of his tongue, every kiss from his lips. He brought his tongue from your clit, down the length of your slit and back again, clamping his lips on your clit. It was instantaneous, there was no further climb; your orgasm exploded deep inside you. Your body, which you had been tensing the entire time unravelled, collapsing on to the bed while your shouts of pleasure echoed around the room. You felt like you could power an entire city with the energy radiating from your body, your orgasm came in waves, crashing through you violently.

You could feel Kylo’s lips still on you, gently kissing your swollen clit to ease you through the fall from your orgasm. Pleasure ran through your veins at a slower pace and your breathing had somewhat returned to normal but Kylo continued to nuzzle himself into your centre; small licks and breath like kisses, his thumbs palmed your damp skin. You tousled a hand in his dark hair, the action roused him and he looked up at you with an insatiable look in those golden eyes. He crawled up the bed and in between your thighs, the feeling of his hardness brushed you; he leant back letting his hand palm your stomach gently. He was careful to touch your bruises and he sighed, leaning his face down to kiss you. You melted into his touch, your legs spread wider, your body silently begging to be fucked. You were so lost in his lips, lost in his tongue pushing against yours that you didn’t notice his body shuffle forward and his cock pushing slowly into you; you broke the kiss to whine aloud, letting your neck roll backwards. He kept pushing until he was at the hilt, just like before he puffed out and stilled. His body gently fell on to yours, your bodies couldn’t be closer together even if you tried. Kylo’s hand travelled to the back of your neck holding you still,

“I want you to watch me while I fuck you,” you nodded quickly. With one last quick peck to your lips he began to snap his hips against yours; your mouth dropped open and your eyes shut. The oddest sensation seeped through you, if you weren’t being fucked into oblivion you’d be worried, the feeling continued and your eyes opened against your will. _I’m not doing that. He’s making me do this._

“I told you I want you to watch,” you nodded again, you tried to apologise but he kept thrusting into you, he didn’t give you the chance to try get a word out. Your pussy was soaking, you could feel it down your thighs and you could hear it with every move of his body. The hand that was holding you in place slunk around to the front of your neck and held it there, “I never,” he breathed out, swallowing his own moan, “meant to scare you,”

His second hand moved to your leg, grasping at your thigh to push it into your body it made his body move deeper into you, he nudged something inside you incessantly. You felt your stomach muscles cramp pleasantly, what was he doing to you? You cried out, tears brimmed in your eyes. He dared not move from his position, his body rocking into you, he kept hitting this something and you were crying louder and louder, this type of pleasure was like nothing you had ever felt before. You fluttered your eyelashes and another wave of pleasure crashed through you, you stared into his eyes and something flashed inside your head. Kylo staring into your eyes, his hand wrapped around your neck.

Kylo had never been trying to kill you in your dreams, no. You had been dreaming about Kylo fucking you senseless. He saw the realisation hit you and he quickly kissed you, “I’d never hurt you,”

These were not the words of someone you had met only days ago. These were words spoken from married couples who lived long happy lives, not from a Commander of the First Order but when your eyes met again you had no reason to doubt him. You watched his lip quiver and he swore under his breath. Kylo’s thrusts had never ceased but they were now shaky, his fingers tightened on your throat; your breath faltered but you didn’t stop him, your body writhed under him lifting your hips to meet his. You moaned his name, he instructed to say it again; you obliged. Over and over again you called his name, his fingers tightened on your throat to the point his name fell out as a whisper. Your stomach churned, your skin seemed to flush continuously; you were so close now. “Please…” the desperation in your hoarse voice caused Kylo’s lips to curve into a grin. His cock stuffed into you was unimaginable, you felt your body topple over the cliff it had been edging closer and closer to, Kylo’s hand released from your throat, your body drunk in oxygen, it was like nothing you had ever experienced. Your body shook from head to toe, your vision went blank as if someone had shone the brightest light into your eyes. You could feel your body lifting from the bed and you were aware of the sound of screaming, the sound of Kylo yelling.

Moments passed, all was quiet; a hand brushed your cheek gently and someone was whispering your name. Eyes opening you tried to place yourself; your body tingled all over. It was like you had woken from your injures all over again; you felt like you had been gone. Looking up everything rushed back to you; Kylo held your gaze with his soft eyes; you had never seen his features so soft before.

“I thought I lost you for a minute…”

His fingers continued to stroke your cheek, his body lay on you with your legs intertwined. The last time you woke up like this you were scared but now, with this man holding you in his arms you felt safer than you ever had in the First Order. You mumbled his name, more in awe than anything but he continued to speak,

“I hope that was okay…” you brought your hands to his face, holding him close to you; you nodded.

You weren’t sure how long you both stayed like that, Kylo watching your features while you ran your fingers through his dark hair. “You should sleep,” his voice knocked you from your thoughts, lifting his head he pursed his lips. Slowly he moved away from your body and you looked; his naked body made your body stiffen. The evidence of your arousal and his was obvious on his thighs, you looked at the bed sheets and almost felt embarrassed at how wet you had evidently been. He dressed in silence; what had just happened? You couldn’t quite believe this, Kylo Ren dressing his naked body having just fucked you into the mattress. You were resting on your side watching his body carefully. He sat on the edge of the bed lacing his boots up he sighed; Kylo turned and looked at you. “Rest… I’ll see you soon.”

He stood and walked to the door, without another glance he left your room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are nice, they keep the world going round :)  
> Thank you to everyone has read and to my beta Allison! It means a whole lot and makes me very happy x


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life had gone somewhat back to normal, you tried your best to forget your interaction with Kylo Ren but there was no denying that you longed for another meeting with the man.

Life was somewhat back to normal after the life changing events from a few weeks ago; you had returned to your officer duties, you had visited the remaining troopers in the hospital wing to show your support of their efforts and to encourage a speedy recovery. It had been tough visiting them, part of you felt responsible for all their woes; you had briefly mentioned this to one of the recovering female troopers, also a dear friend. She had scolded you immediately, reminding you that you too were a victim and that you had tried to stop the attack from happening in the first place. You sighed in defeat agreeing with her, you wished her well and began to move on. Your friend took your wrist stopping you from leaving her, she looked around cautiously and spoke in a hushed whisper,

“Is it true Commander Ren saved you?”

Kylo Ren. The name made you buckle at the knees, you shook it off as a stumble and smiled politely,

“Oh, I’m not sure? I remember waking up in the med bay. I have no idea who found me.” She loosened her grip on your wrist.

“Some of the guys said they saw him carrying you back to his shuttle,” you shrugged nonchalantly.

“Like I said, I can’t remember. Remind me to thank him if that’s true,” you forced a laugh and moved on.

Yes Kylo Ren had saved you. He also watched over you while medic droids and doctors battled to save your life. You continued to walk through the med bay trying to close off your thoughts but it was futile; Kylo Ren had not only saved your life he had also fucked the life out of your body. Every time the image of his body on top of yours entered your head you would stumble, your stomach would flip and your mind drew a blank. You felt like the moment he left you in your room that night your pussy had been in a constant state of throbbing, no amount of touching yourself to the vivid memories of his tongue fucking you satisfied your needs.

In saying all that you hadn’t seen Kylo Ren since that night, well you had seen him; in his usual furious state storming around the base but you hadn’t spoken to him.

You were startled to see him stood at the back of the war room when it came for the morning review. He had his mask on, you couldn’t even tell if he was looking at you. You didn’t know where to look and settled near the door away from prying eyes and listened to the officers’ reports. You wondered if the rest of the people in the room had an inkling; if they knew that their very own Commander Ren had brought you to such an intense orgasm you passed out. At some point through the meeting, while trying to ignore the pulsating between your thighs you were approached by General Hux.

“Lieutenant…” you weren’t sure how to approach this situation. A part of you wanted to punch him in the nose, to tell him how much of an imbecile he had been but you took a deep inhale and swallowed your anger.

“General,” you stood straight, watching him carefully. You noticed he wore his shirt high, there was a small glimpse of bruising around his neck no doubt from when Snoke had punished him for his stupidity.

“I was glad to see you back to duty…” he coughed and looked away, careful not to meet your dubious gaze.

“Part duty actually,” you shuffled on your feet, you looked to the side; Kylo Ren was facing your direction but you had no idea if his eyes were on you. “I’m fine to be on officer duties sir but I am yet to return to the trooper program,” you made sure to look at your General in the eye, “The doctors don’t know how severe the break was to my leg, long term I mean. I’m not yet able to cover the same amount of distance in a short time as I was before the attack.”

Hux nodded, his lips were pursed.

“Well, Lieutenant… I hope we can forget about this incident,” you raised your eyebrows at him,

“Yes, I hope for that too.”

You turned your back on him, rolling your eyes shaking the feeling of disdain from your skin. Looking up you noticed Kylo Ren was gone, as were most of the other officers from the room. It was only past lunch and you still had a lot of work to catch up on. You made your way to your office, you hadn’t been in the job role long enough to fully move into your office; it was strewn with boxes full of files and documents most of which you had to read and review. A thrilling prospect, you thought but it had to be done, you could only sail by on sympathy for so long and if you missed any more work or deadlines you would be written up, something you wanted to avoid. You dragged yourself along the long hallways, your leg still moved with a slight limp and you wanted nothing more than to return to your room, maybe strip bare and try ease the ache between your legs.

You shook your head; you couldn’t go on like this. You needed to push Kylo Ren out of your mind, you needed to forget the way he touched you, how his tongue his circled your swollen clit; that he brought you to such an intense orgasm, he had found the sweetest of spots deep inside you and had awoken it, no one had ever fucked you like he had.

You shook your head again, “that is not helping,” you muttered quietly to yourself. You continued to scold yourself until you reached the doorway to your office. Quickly you entered the code and walked in; just as you left it– a fucking mess.  Leaning against the now closed door you exhaled deeply,

“Lieutenant,”

Your stomach dropped and you screeched, quickly turning around you pulled the small blaster gun from your waist and pointed it to the intruder.

Kylo Ren was sat in your office chair, his mask still covered his face and his hands sat in front of him on the desk. You lowered your weapon and then back up again. Your shock passed and you looked down at your feet breathing deeply, you lowered the gun again.

“What in the name of  _fuck_ are you doing in here?!” you re-holstered your blaster, leaning your head against the door, “I could have fucking shot you!” he remained silent. “How–“ you looked around and stood away from the door, “how did you even get in here?”

“I can do whatever I want Lieutenant,”

“That didn’t really answer my question but okay,”

Stepping away from the door you sighed, you were faced with the man you hadn’t stopped thinking about for the last how many ever weeks and yet you had no idea what to say, what to do. He stood from the seat and approached you, he wore a cowl around him and his robe seemed longer almost making look taller than he already was. He loomed over you, hands behind his back and his breathing heavy through the synthesiser of his mask. Your mouth went dry looking at him, you didn’t know how to react; you felt like you should be scared but it was too difficult to read the situation, even more so with his face covered. You inhaled at the touch of his hand on your shoulder, clad in leather as usual he circled his finger on the material of your blazer before moving to your neck. You felt your breathing cease as he touched your skin, watching his finger scoop into your uniform and grip the strap of your bra. It was bright red, made of the finest lace and absolutely not on the First Order’s list of authorised clothing. No, officer uniform although well-tailored and made to fit like a glove was also dull and the standard issue underwear was much worse; a plain black bra, made to fit like a sports bra with plain black underwear which in no way accented someone’s body. Ever since Kylo Ren had appeared at your chamber door you had ditched the standard issue bra and pants and dug out your expensive lingerie, bought on one of your trips to the luxurious planet of Spira in hopes of having another rendezvous with Commander Ren. Adorned with beaches that looked like they were made from the finest gold and oceans as clear as crystal, you briefly pictured yourself in those waters your body wrapped around Kylo’s.

“What is this?” his voice crackled, the noise startled you and you looked to the ground. You knew it was against policy but in all honestly you didn’t actually think anyone would find out.  “Answer me,” You looked up, staring at him as best as you could through his mask.

“It’s underwear Commander,” he lifted the strap higher.

“Not what you are meant to wear though, is it?” you felt your cheeks blush and that feeling of sweat seemed to flush your body. You didn’t answer, you tried to hold your stare with his mask. He let his finger slip and the material cracked across your blushed skin; the noise of the elastic snapping against you resonated across the room. You heard him sigh through the mask it came out as a crackle and silence followed. He took a step backwards, you noted his head moving down as if he was looking you over.

“Strip,” the word came out as a hiss, you barely recognised the word. It took you a few minutes to process what he had said to you,

“I’m sorry?” you had heard what he said but you didn’t really register it.  _Strip? Strip for what?_

“I said… Strip.”

The flash of sweat overwhelmed your body again yet you found your fingers making work of the buttons on your blazer, there was a small part of you desperate to please him and if you followed his instruction surely there would be a reward…  _right?_

Your jacket was on the ground, your trousers and leather boots had been kicked off. Your eyes peaked down at yourself; the bruises on your legs had nearly completely gone; the line of scarring up your leg had faded somewhat but still shone in the light. You gripped the edge of your black undershirt, pulling it over your head so you only stood in the illicit red underwear. The first time Kylo Ren touched you it had been a gentle caress to your cheek with his hand; this time he took your bottom lip between his finger and thumb and squeezed.

“When you dress like a slut then you’ll be treated like a slut,” you could feel yourself gulp, you barely registered the sting in your lips from where he was squeezing all you could think about was him being inside you. He squeezed harder, “little sluts do not get what they want,” your heart sunk but the ache between your thighs intensified. He continued, “you haven’t learnt have you?”

You shook your head as best as you could with his hand still holding you, “I hear every dirty, little thought in that head of yours,” you tried to look away from him now, your face was flush with embarrassment. He finally released your lips standing away from you, “on the desk now, all fours if you please,” you gingerly moved around him and approached the desk. You climbed it with as much dignity as possible and waited.

What a sight you must be: on all fours, stripped to your underwear. Underwear that left very little to the imagination; the bra was more strap and clasp than it was lace; your rosy nipples peaked through the material. The underwear styled to a thong, the material barely covered your mound. All you had wanted was to entice this incredibly gorgeous man but now you weren’t so sure. His footsteps were loud as he walked around the desk in a circle, examining you like his newly caught prey.  You were uncertain of the situation, was he teasing you and would soon fuck you here on the desk?  _Please, please let that happen._

You let out a shaky breath when he settled behind you, his breathing was the only noise in your office; long and deep. You could feel the leather of his glove very slowly brushing the skin of your bare ass. You held your head high, you didn’t want to crumble (more than you already had) at the touch of his hand. You bit the inside of your cheek when the gloved hand traced in a line up your clothed slit.

“Look at you,” you could hear him cooing even through the hiss of his mask, “so precious when you’re on your knees,”

_What is he doing to me?_

His fingers continued to rub up and down, up and down. A shuddering breath fell from your lips; his gloved finger moved the material aside to glide up your glistening pussy.  “Tell me Lieutenant,” his finger paused, “what do you want?”

You looked over your shoulder, you so wanted to see his face; to see  some sort of expression. You licked your lips and with another shaky breath you spoke,

“I want you,” he tutted from behind you, his finger still paused.

“Lieutenant, I know you’re more creative than that,” his free hand cracked down on your bare skin, “try again.”

Your mouth hung open, mostly in shock of being struck. Your skin felt like it was fire, spreading across your smooth skin where it continued to burn deep into your clit. You tried again,

“Please Commander, I want your fingers on my clit, please,”

_Crack._

His hand met your ass again. “Better but I think you’re holding back,” he repeated the action again. You squeezed your eyes together, holding back the whine of pain that crawled up your throat.

“I want you-I want you to fuck my clit, with your fingers, your tongue…” his fingers began circling around your clit, “I want you to fuck me on this desk, I want you…”

“Good… Good…” his finger felt so good, the leather was cool and ignited your swollen bud, you tried to move with him but the other hand, still on your behind stopped your body moving. The same hand patted your bottom gently, “Lieutenant… I’m going to leave you know,”

“What?!”  your cry was desperate and full of anguish, tears immediately brimmed in your eyes. Not only had he mercilessly teased you, he had humiliated you and now he was leaving you. “You can’t-Kylo,”

His hand cracked over your already raw skin,

“Commander!” you jumped at his voice, the yell through the mask shocked you, “it is Commander Ren,” you nodded pathetically.

“Sorry Commander…” you were so close to breaking. He walked around the desk to face you, he leant down but you couldn’t look at him. You looked to the side, desperately fluttering your eyelashes to stop the tears from falling. Your face must have been red from embarrassment but there was something inside you that didn’t care, you wanted to impress him. You wanted to make him proud. Your body shuddered when he took your chin between his fingers.

“Don’t move a muscle… not until I say so, do you understand?” You nodded staring into his mask,

“Yes Commander,”

“If you move, and Lieutenant I’ll know if you do, there will be worse to come. Is that clear?”

“Crystal.”

 

**

 

Kylo Ren walked-stormed down the endless corridors. To the many officers and stormtroopers he charged past Kylo Ren looked angry as hell but underneath that mask he was grinning; he couldn’t remember the last time he felt like this. In fact, he hadn’t ever felt like this. He waded through his thoughts trying to find her, it had only been a few minutes but she was still kneeling on the desk just as she was told to do. His pace was quick, he hoped the fast paced meeting he was about to step into would calm his senses, soothe the erection that had formed when he found her wearing the red garment. He could still feel his hand stinging from when he swatted her ass; it was beautiful. Her skin was so smooth, his hand print had shown immediately. He was going to make sure no one would touch her rosy skin ever again, no one but him.

The meeting had been going on for sometime, Hux had been droning on about the trooper program. Kylo never usually stuck around for things like this but leaving her in that desperate mess was just perfect; he looked on at her.

She was still on all fours;  _good girl_. He dug deeper, her voice swithered in his head.

_That fuckin’ asshole… What’re you doing? Get up, get dressed and get back to work._

She remained still, her head was bowed staring at the desk below her.

_What has he done to you? One good orgasm and you’re a blundering idiot._

Kylo heard another voice in her head;

_**Two good orgasms actually…** _

Kylo could feel her body flush as she thought about their tryst. He fidgeted in his seat.

_**He isn’t like others-** _

_Oh c’mon, you’re a big girl. Get up!_

She shook her head from side to side, the debate in her head intrigued him.

**_No! I want that man who comforted me, I want that man who made me feel like the only person in the world. If this is what I need to do to impress him I’ll do it. I’ll do anything._ **

Kylo smiled into his mask; he knew she had enjoyed their time together and he knew that she wanted to repeat it, hell he could practically feel the heat radiating from her body in the meeting room earlier but he didn’t know she felt this strongly. Her mind went quiet; her body shook in a silent sigh. He looked at her features; she was calmer than when he had left her; calmer but her body showed signs of strain. Her elbows were shaking slightly, he could even see the beads of sweat dripping down her back. Kylo’s moment of serenity passed, he wondered if she meant it, would she do anything? He moved his hands from the desk, lowering them below the table. He set his first and middle finger together and began a stroking motion; he heard her gasp. He thought about his mouth wrapped around her nipple, huffing inside his mask. She groaned; he quickened his fingers, he motioned rolling her clit between her fingers. Her face was contorted into a mix of pleasure and confusion, poor girl still didn’t understand the things he could do to her when he wasn’t even in the room. Her moan pitched through his head and he spoke to her,

“Hush sweet girl, this will all be over soon,”

She froze hearing his voice moving through her thoughts.

“Ren, is there a problem?” his thoughts were interrupted by Hux, everyone was stood waiting to leave but Kylo. Still sat in his seat, hands still under the table. He broke his connection into the Lieutenant’s office and stood, they watched him carefully as he strode from the room.

“I don’t want to be disturbed for the rest of the day,” he snapped at Hux and the rest of the officers quickly storming out of the room and towards his quarters.

 

**

 

His voice reverberated in your head.

_Sweet girl._

Your body was tingling. It was like he had been in the room with you, your nipple still felt wet from his tongue. Your body ached for him; you were yearning for him; to feel his fingers sliding along your soaked pussy. Your head lolled forward, your arms were starting to ache and your emotions were at risk of tipping over the edge. How much longer? How much longer was he going to make you wait? The data pad next you started flashing, you eyed it suspiciously. Your pinky finger reached to the pad and you accepted the message. There was a moment of silence and then a voice filled the room,

“Alright Lieutenant…” it was his voice, it was his unfiltered voice. “Get yourself dressed and come to my quarters,” he went on to tell you which part of the base to come to. You stood from the desk, your legs were shaking. Your hand prints were glazed into the wood of your desk from where your palms had been sweating. You dressed quicker than you thought you would considering how tired your limbs were. You had been in the room for what felt like hours. As you dressed you noticed new bruising forming on your knees where you had been kneeling on the desk.  

You walked quickly, making sure not to speak to anyone; your head was down. There had been a few people who tried to stop you but you made a quick excuse to get away. Kylo’s room wasn’t too far but when you approached it a sudden feeling of fear washed over you, what was he planning next?

You were stood there for a few moments before the door opened, hesitantly you made your way in. His room was larger than yours but was similar in colour; dark. You walked in a small circle looking at the room and it’s contents; he had very little personal belongings from the look of it. When he still hadn’t made himself apparent you walked cautiously through the room, you could see a door left ajar and proceeded to go through it. Your breath became lodged in your throat; he was there sat at a desk looking through you presumed a data pad.

“Lieutenant…” he glanced over his shoulder.

“Commander Ren…” you acknowledged him quietly. He stood and approached you, his helmet was removed along with his cowl and robes, only in a short sleeved top and pants. Your eyes wandered to his bare arms. He was hard to read and you didn’t like it, you wanted to know how he was feeling. You looked up and into one another’s eyes for a few moments, his lip quivered just as he spoke,

“I’d like you to take these off again Lieutenant… Can you do that for me?” He stroked your chin with his bare finger looking at your clothes, you could feel yourself melting at this touch nodding into his hand. It was what you had been waiting for all day, all week. Your clothes fell off as they had done earlier today, you stood out of the boots and waited for his next instruction. He stroked the side of your face. “Good…” he circled your body again, “lie on the bed for me,” you nodded, tip toeing to his bed. It was huge, so much bigger than your own bed. If you sat on the edge of it your feet would dangle there no problem.

“I know you’re tired,” he spoke again, walking to you. His hands parted your legs so he stood between them. He continued, “but you disobeyed me,” you shot up to your elbows leaning up to look at him,

“What? When?” Your voice was quiet and full of concern. His hands rubbed your thighs soothingly.

“When you answered my message of course,” he spoke as if it were the most obviously thing in the world. You found yourself falling back into the bed in disbelief, “you remember don’t you?” You couldn’t deny it, he told you not to move but you did albeit to answer his message but you had moved. He leant closer to you “I believe you also called me an asshole,” you shot up again,

“I did not!” He smiled at you.

“I think it went something like, ‘That fuckin’ asshole… What’re you doing? Get up, get dressed and get back to work’, does that sound familiar?” You stared at him with your mouth agape in shock trying to ignore the fact that you had indeed called him asshole. He kept your stare and you broke; your head fell back against the bed.

“Fine, okay… in my defence I didn’t think you’d hear me!”

“Mhm, yes…” he was looking at your body, the look in his eyes compared to the last time he saw your naked body was like night and day; then he was soft, his eyes reflecting guilt and loneliness. Now; he looked hungry, he looked like he was going to devour you. The Commander’s fingers looped into the hem of your red underwear tugging them down your thighs, he stepped away briefly from your body to pull the underwear down your legs. You shivered, the cool temperature of the room seemed to settle in between your legs. He took his stance between your legs again, you felt the need to apologise,

“Kylo-”

Almost immediately he cracked his hand against the inside of your thigh at your error, he didn’t stop at one; it just kept coming. You screamed beneath him, you cried  _Commander_ over and over again trying to fix your error but it was futile, the blows kept coming. Your skin felt on fire, tears began streaming from your eyes. His free hand moved to your chest grabbing your breast moving the fabric of your lace bra out of the way to free your nipple, you cried out in response to his fingers squeezing your already sensitive bud. Your body rushed with heat; your nipples hardened at his touch.

His hand stilled momentarily to quickly pull down his trousers, you were thankful for the break to your thigh; glancing down you looked at your leg. You sucked in a breath, it was so red, his hand print visible on your skin. It hurt like hell but the ache in your cunt was so much more distracting, it was as if he had heard you (again) because the ache from your thigh was not at the front of your mind nor was the throbbing in between your legs, you were taken aback by Commander Ren stuffing himself inside your pussy. He groaned loudly, the sound made your stomach tighten and your legs spread further. He wasted no time in snapping his hips into you, you whined under his body. You had wanted this since the moment he had left your room. You had dreamt about his dick filling you; his hands grabbing your ass; his fingers inside you. He had consumed your every thought.

You screamed again when his hand swatted your thigh, his eyes met yours,

“I told you,” he huffed in between thrusts, “to call me-” he groaned, “Commander!” his hand cracked against your reddened skin,

“I’m sorry!” you cried out,

_CRACK._

“I’m sorry!”

He spanked you again;

“I’m sorry!”

He fucked you hard and fast, one hand gripped your waist while the other continued to spank your thigh.

_CRACK._

You screamed, “I’m sorry!” the tears from earlier resurfaced, falling down your cheeks. Commander’s hand left your bruising thigh, to grip the other side of you waist. He was impaling you, it’s the only way you could describe it. You felt yourself flutter around him,

“Fuck, you’re all ready to cum, aren’t you?” he huffed again, he moved his head flicking the hair from his eyes. You nodded desperately,

“I’m so close Commander,” you breathed out, eyes looking down to watch his thick cock moving in and out of you. His eyes flickered to the same sight and back to your tits bouncing all the while pounding you into the bedsheets. “Can I cum sir? Please, please, please…” you begged, your orgasm was already settling but you were trying your best to keep it at bay. You didn’t think your thigh could take another round from his hand if you came before his permission.

His hands tightened on your waist, pushing himself deeper into you. He shouted, his head thrown back in ecstacy and the simple word fell from his lips,

“Cum.”

Your back arched from the bed, your limbs thrashed and all you could do was scream. It was weeks worth of pent up sexual frustration, it was an entire day of teasing coming to an explosive end. It was more intense than the first time he made you cum, you briefly wondered if every time would be more intense than the last. You felt tighter and fuller than you ever had even more so when you felt Commander cumming, his cum shot deep into you and seemed to never end. He groaned again as his body came to a still.

Your breathing was erratic, you felt like you couldn’t control it. Commander’s hand moved from your waist to rest on your chest,

“Shh…” his voice was barely a whisper but it soothed you and the movement from his hand sent a wave of air through you almost instantly settling you. He spent a moment collecting his thoughts before pulling out of you and sighing. You couldn’t help but stare at his body, he removed the shirt to join you on the bed next to you. Uncertainty swithered in your mind, unsure what to do now.

He moved to look at your thigh and placed the palm of his hand over the bruising skin, it seemed to cool you.

“That’s nice Commander…” you whispered, head nuzzling into bed sheets.

“Kylo’s fine…” your eyes were shut but you had heard him and you smiled. You eventually rose from the bed and the next while was spent cleaning one another up, his hands were gentle as he cleaned the mess from your thighs, he helped you stand into your underwear to pull them up your legs covering your modesty. He lay you in his bed, you stifled a yawn to look into his dark eyes.

He spoke your name gently, “I need you to realise that you…” he took a breath,“you can’t be with anyone else,” you looked at him, your head was resting on one of the pillows, “I can’t have you being with anyone…”

“Kylo… I thought it was quite clear that I only wanted you…” you spoke softly, your hand reaching out to brush his fingers. You saw his lips flicker into a smile, you spoke again, “Will it always be like that?” you motioned to your red thighs and bruised knees, Kylo smirked,

“No… it won’t always be like that,” you nodded into the sheets. He spoke your name again,

“I want you to report to me from now,” you screwed your eyes in confusion, already you weren’t sure how that would work. He glanced at you, he could hear your uncertainty, “I will sort it. Anything you have to report, you will come to me. Understood?”

“Can I ask why?”

“He can’t protect you like how I can,”

Hux. You couldn’t deny your confidence had been shaken since Hux’s decision that nearly ended your career; your life. You nodded at him, you spoke quietly fighting off sleep,

“Okay… you can help with my paperwork in that case…”

The last thing you heard before dropping off to sleep was Kylo’s chuckle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are nice, they keep the world going round :)  
> Thank you to everyone has read, it means a whole lot and makes me very happy x


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have been cleared to return to work and with your first mission going well, can someone from your past ruin everything?

“Kylo…” you whispered his name, both hands locked in his hair and your thighs splayed open you watched Kylo Ren eat you so perfectly. “Kylo… I, fuck- Kylo, we can’t-”

That was silly, he would not stop until you came under his tongue. You shouted, part in pleasure, part frustration. You had finally been cleared to return to duty, full trooper duty. You were so happy, being out in the field just fuelled you. Sure, being Lieutenant was rewarding but it didn’t compare to wearing the iconic uniform, the excitement of going new places and teaching. How you loved to teach. Kylo pushed his tongue into you, 

“Kylo!”

He was doing this to delay the inevitable, “I’m going to be la-late, fuck,” his lips wrapped around your clit, just gently massaging it, coaxing your body to an orgasm. 

Kylo had been quite clear, he did not approve of you returning to the program. He had done everything to get you to change your mind from arguing to silent treatment and to today’s attempt: sex. You were annoyed at him, you knew he cared for you in someway or another but this was a new low. You both knew you were powerless like this. You began panting, you chased your orgasm, desperate for your release, he pushed a finger to your soaked centre letting you fall down the rabbit hole, you began rolling your body into his mouth, it was just there, right there-

“Nuh-uh,” he murmured into your thigh, you could cry. “You have  _ plenty _ of time,” you collapsed onto the bed groaning in frustration, “even if you are a little late… I’ll fix it,” 

“I don’t want to be late Kylo!” you pushed your body up now looking down at him, your skin was still tingling. You wouldn’t make it ten minutes into your shift if you carried on feeling like this, “just fucking make me cum already!” you fell back down, fingers looping into his hair to push him into your pussy. You could feel his lips pulling into a smile, he held your thighs apart; licking a stripe up you he finally settled on your clit, tonguing it as fast as he could, your orgasm rushed back and crashed over you almost instantly, you felt yourself soak Kylo’s tongue. Managing to look down you saw him grinning, greedily sucking every last drop of your arousal. You let your head sink into the pillow breathing deep, you knew you should be up and already in the shower but your comedowns from Kylo induced orgasms always stopped your body from functioning, 

“ I still don't like the idea of you leaving, I’d rather you stay here so I can keep an eye on you..." he moved up the bed, caging you in his arms and holding you. You sighed, 

“I know…” he buried his face into your shoulder, nuzzling your damp skin. You let your fingers tangle in his hair massaging his scalp, he hummed in approval. “Kylo,”  kissing his cheek, “I gotta get ready,” it was a moment before he rolled off your body, grunting in annoyance. 

Steam clouded your vision and hot water crashed down on your back you couldn’t help but grin; what a turn of events the last month had been, trooper, officer, patient, lover. The last few weeks had been such a rollercoaster, you could hardly believe it. You still couldn’t believe what you had with Kylo, your pussy seemed to pulse at the thought of him. You had barely left his bed, his tongue had spent more time on your clit than it had in his own mouth. He was insatiable, as were you, you couldn’t get enough of one another. 

With your hair wrapped into a neat bun and your under armour on you made you way from Kylo’s bathroom to start your first day. Kylo was dressed, also in his undergarments, black pants with his boots all that was missing was his vest, your eyes lingered over his bare chest. 

“Do you know what you’re doing today?” he spoke quietly, lifting himself from the bed to approach you. His hand cupped your cheek, looking at you with such softness. You were reminded of the first time he had touched you like this, your body melting into his, 

“Training mission on a nearby planet, should be back tomorrow…” he inhaled deeply, his brow furrowed in disapprovement. You felt yourself swell when he rested his forehead against yours,

“As soon as you’re back… you find me, do you understand?” He stared into your eyes, hand still clasping your cheek. The transformation in Kylo Ren wasn’t believable. He knew so many thought of him as a tyrant, a monster but not you. In the short time you had been together he held you close to his body at night, you awoke to soft kisses being scattered across your skin, he had ensured you continued with physical therapy; there were nights you wanted to punch and scream at him as he pushed and pushed.  _ “You can do this. I know you can.”  _ He would hold you after, his thumb would brush away your tears of frustration, whispering how proud he was of you.

You leaned up to kiss his lips, savouring the sensation of his soft skin, “I will,” you kissed him again and left his room.

 

**

 

You tread lightly through the forest, ears at full alert. You could hear unknown animals sniffing and eating under the combs of the feathery moss that coated the planet’s floor. The sky turned dark sometime ago, speckles of white stars guided you through the growth. You only had one thing on your mind; find the target. Your breathing was even and quiet, careful you weren’t going to bring any attention to yourself. The nearby sound of a branch cracking stopped you in your tracks; you held your weapon tighter. You felt your eyes flickering to the trees above you, if you held your eyes shut long enough you could see a falling X-Wing. You steadied yourself trying to rid the image and continue with the mission in hand. In the not so far distance you saw a flash of white,  _ gotch ya.  _

You leant to your knees and held the weapon to your eye, watching your target. You could see them trying to scutter through the undergrowth, they too looking for their target. You. 

The blaster in your hand felt comfortable, welcoming. It was your favourite model and fit like a glove. Your target stopped and looked around, your triggered the blaster and with a flash of light your target fell to the floor. The sudden noise sent screeching birds scattering from the skyscraper like trees and away from the area. You walked across the path, carpeted by moss and leaves alike. 

“You fucking bitch,” your target lay on the floor, breathing deeply. You held out your hand and laughed,

“You’re a sore loser, get up.” You helped lift the trooper to their feet and you grinned beneath your mask. “You can’t beat me at this kinda shit, you should know that,” 

“Even after your leg gets blown to fucking bits you still beat me, how?” 

You walked to the campground, the rest of your platoon waiting for the last man… woman, standing. Your crew cheered as you held your weapon up in victory. Yes, you were born to do this. 

“Alright alright,” you lifted the helmet from your head, grinning at everyone and basking in the glory, your target lifted the helmet off and shared your grin. Damon Croft was a handsome man, you knew it, he knew it. Your training had finished hours ago and this little game of cat and mouse had just been to wind down, the blaster guns’ high energised bolts replaced with dummy rounds and last one standing won. You gave up your prize, additional days off work, to your challenger Damon. The evening wound down to your troop taking up accommodation in set up tents and hammocks, an opportunity to get in touch with nature you told them. Wind rippled against the wall of your tent, you had taken your uniform off with a shiver, the wind streaked through the tent filling your nostrils with the scent of pine and ember. You stretched your leg to the instructions Kylo had given you; it still stung, your teeth bit into your lip to silence your groan of frustration. Kylo. Standing still you smiled, you hadn’t thought of him since you arrived on the distant planet. You wondered what he was doing and if he was thinking of you. 

“Lieutenant…?” You heard someone tapping on the poles of your tent, you called them in. Turning around you were met with Damon. You smiled and welcomed him into your temporary home. It was completely out of habit you called him Damon and not by his trooper name, you had always had a soft spot for him. Damon was one of the stormtrooper’s you had had a relationship with, everyone fooled around with everyone but Damon had been your partner, in bed and in work. He zipped the tent behind him and sat, he said your name and smiled, “you look really good,” you felt your cheeks flush as he spoke. When General Hux had announced your promotion you broke things off with him, it broke you both to do it but we’re you caught… it wasn’t worth thinking about, for his sake. 

“Damon, cut it out,” you hid your reddened cheeks as best as you could. You knew you were flattered by his words but not only was it completely against regulation you also had the leader of the Knights of Ren waiting for you. He spoke your name again,

“C’mon, I miss you…” his hand slipped around your waist, leaning down to brush his lips against your skin. Your body seemed to freeze at the contact, it felt wrong, so so wrong. “Nobody needs to know,” he continued, curving his hand around you to turn your body. “We were so good together… I hate seeing you and working underneath you… when I should I be on top of you.” 

You opened your mouth to speak when Damon pressed himself against you, his lips were as you remembered them; warm and welcoming, you had barely reacted when you felt his tongue pushing past your lips. You felt something stir inside you, you pictured Kylo and that stirring feeling hardened and snapped. You pushed Damon back with a hard shove to his chest, he looked at you confused,

“I am your Superior, Damon. Don’t you dare think you can touch me without my permission, we ended for a reason, if Hux or Phasma found out I was sleeping with you… you know what they would do to us-“ 

He scoffed, “they wouldn’t find out!”

“Enough! Get out now, before I write you up.” 

With pursed lips he watched you, trying to find an ounce of doubt in your eyes, “leave.” He dropped his arms to his side in defeat, silently leaving your tent, tail between his legs. Hearing Damon walk across the campsite you finally relaxed and started your leg exercises again, cursing under your breath the whole time.

 

**

 

Kylo awoke with a start. His body jumped from the sheets and he looked around the room before his eyes settled on his clothing, he had fallen asleep in his robes and all; his attempt to stay awake had failed. He looked at the empty space next to him; she had not returned to him. Bile rose in his throat, where was she? Kylo fumbled for a data pad looking for the tracking system. Her ship had arrived hours ago… Where was she? She should be here. Kylo scrambled around his quarters grabbing his helmet and saber. That panic was wrapping around his chest rapidly. Where was she? He checked the arrival time; it had definitely returned to base. Where was she? The moment he stepped from his quarters Kylo stopped in his tracks, his head pulsed, his senses seemed to pick up the smell of lavender with a particular signature. With a snarl under his helmet he stormed through the base. 

 

**

 

Rolling over in bed you yawned, you had only slept some three hours but it helped. It was still significantly early, enough time to shower, get changed into your casual wear and see Kylo. Your stomach seemed to dance at the idea of seeing him. Gathering yourself up from the bed you stripped to your underwear and turned the shower on, waiting for the water to become piping hot; just the way you liked it. You searched for your towel, forgetting one of the droids must have cleaned them away. You skipped from the room and grabbed a towel from one of the closets, as you did so your arms tingled. You stood still for a moment and the tingling in your arms became apparent, you could hear him. Turning around Kylo was stood in your doorway, lightsaber in hand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are nice, they keep the world going round :)  
> Thank you to everyone has read, it means a whole lot and makes me very happy x


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo is angry.

You looked at your commanding officer, his fingers twitched over the ignitor. “Kylo-“ the saber ignited, your room glowed red, you remember screaming as he began to strike the walls of you room. You howled for him to stop but he seemed to react more, hitting the floors and the furniture. He clasped his helmet, dragging it off his head throwing it across the room, it landed near you and smashed against something; what, you didn’t know. The sound from his saber nearly masked your screams as he continued to destroy your room. You pleaded for him to stop, stop,  _ STOP!  _ He wouldn’t listen. You didn’t have your blaster, you had handed it in for inspection as soon as you had arrived back. You watched helplessly as his rage progressed, you were aware of him yelling as he struck everything around him. You don’t know what came over you but you carried yourself in front of him, in front of this uncontrollable rage. You saw the red of his lightsaber above you where it then stayed. His arms were held high, ready for the next swing. His breathing was erratic, the crackling of his weapon now the only sound in your room. You don’t remember holding your arms up to stop him, you suddenly felt stupid for doing so, what if he hadn’t stopped? He retracted the saber, eyes never leaving you. 

“What-what are you doing?” You envisioned yourself screaming at him but it was barely a whisper. He looked over you, dropping the weapon to the floor. 

“You didn’t report in.” His voice was as quiet as yours, you could see his hair glistening with sweat. Surely you had misheard him? “I told you, I told you, the  _ moment _ you got back you were to report to me,” you blinked, not quite believing what you were hearing. You looked at his eyes, so full of anger but you noticed something deeper, fear. He looked so scared, his bottom lip trembling. Looking away you focused on your wrecked room,

“That warranted destroying my room?” You continued looking around you, the floor scraped with gouges out of the walls, some of your furniture sliced in half. Your eyes filled with tears. “Get out,” 

“You disobeyed me!” As he spoke you swung around, your hand meeting his cheek with a sickening crack. You shrieked when your body moved against its will, your bare back hit the wall with a thud. Kylo had his hand extended, using the force to move you away from him. A red mark already forming on his cheek. “Do you have any idea how worried I was?!” He bellowed at you. Resting your head against the wall, you scoffed,

“No I don’t Kylo, because instead of coming here and calling out for me you decided  _ to destroy my fucking room!”  _ Your body loosened, you were holding yourself now. 

“I gave you a direct order and you-“ 

“I  _ forgot!  _ I returned from my first mission and I was  _ exhausted  _ Kylo!” You took a breath, “What is this really about? Fuck-“ you laughed looking to the ceiling, “this is about Damon, isn’t it?” You saw Kylo’s stance change, he took a step forward his brow furrowing. You regretted it, it wasn’t about Damon. He didn’t know who Damon was but he was going to find out.

“What?” You turned around, grabbing the towel you had dropped, wrapping it around your body, you muttered 'nothing' and walked away, “what are you talking about?” You ignored him and walked to your bathroom. Stopping in your tracks your head felt dizzy, like it was tingling. You knew what had happened… you had felt Kylo listening to your thoughts before. He had seen what had happened the night before. “Who…” his voice cracked, you could hear the leather of his gloves creaking, “who is that?” 

“Nobody,” he strode towards you,

“Don’t piss me off. Who is that?” You wrapped the towel tighter around you, ignoring Kylo. “Don’t make me do this… don’t make me delve deeper.” 

He wouldn’t. 

He did. 

Your head seared for a few moments, your hand held the wall next to you steadying your balance. You seemed to see portions of your life in flashes; you saw Damon kissing you over the course of the last few years; you recoiled at the images of Damon, and what he used to do to your body. You saw him kissing you from the evening before. The heat in your head disappeared. Kylo stood staring at you, you noticed his finger twitch, looking for his lightsaber. 

“Don’t,” you spoke, pointing a finger at him, “you leave him alone. He made a mistake.”   

Kylo now actively looking for his lightsaber, you couldn't let his anger destroy what was left of your room, or you.  Before you knew it you had stormed to him, smacking him across the face again, "Don't… don't you fucking dare touch him or do anything else. I swear to the makers Kylo, you’re overreacting!” Kylo huffed, it was as if he wasn't listening to you. His expression hadn’t changed, he was as angry as before, eyes still searching for the weapon. 

“You should have reported to me. I thought you were dead-“ 

“Why would I be dead?! Do you think me that useless at my job that I would  _ die _ on a  _ training  _ mission?!” Rage filled you, your hand went back towards his face as he began rolling his eyes, you wanted to knock sense into him, to make him feel just how insulted and angry you were, predicting your body movements, he captured your wrist.

"If you know what's good for you, you won't  _ ever _ try that again Lieutenant," his voice was the calmest it had been since he had entered your room. The softness of his voice only infuriated you further,

"Do what? Hit you? Fuck, come on Kylo! I am not afraid, I am not afraid of the resistance, of hurting myself, not death and certainly not  _ you!”  _  He still held your wrist, leaning down to look you in the eye.

“You’re not afraid of me Lieutenant? Well, let’s see how tough you really are,” You grabbed your wrist away from him.

“Don’t mock me Commander, I am not in the mood,” you tried remove yourself from him but he took your wrist again. 

“Who’s mocking? Training room, now. Get dressed,” he stalked from the room leaving you alone.

 

**

 

You were pacing the training room, Kylo’s training room. You had changed into leggings and a tank top. Walking the length of the room, stretching your muscles you were trying to predict how this was going to pan out. Kylo was… Kylo Ren. Jedi Killer, leader of the Knights of Ren. You cracked your neck, bringing your arm around you and stretching some more. Your hand toyed with the bun you had messily placed on top of your head. 

“Training staff,” you jumped when he walked into the room, he hadn’t changed from his usual attire. Still heavily clad in black robes he took a staff and met you in the middle of the room. You picked up your own wooden staff, letting the material slide through your fingers easily. You met his gaze, in the blink of an eye he had taken two steps forward and cracked the staff against yours. The sound echoed through the room, you mirrored his move, two steps forward, another two cracks resonated in the room. There was another jolt of sudden movement between you both, moving around the mat. You wanted to smash him, obliterate him. Your moment of distraction was to Kylo’s advantage; the staff moved catching your bare arm, your body betrayed you dropping the staff in surprise. Rage blinded you, with a snarl you brought up your fists, intent on bringing them down on Kylo. His staff dropped, bringing up his arms to block you; it did not matter, you powered through, bringing blow upon blow down on to him. He stood back, turning on his heel with an arm extended, his intention to catch you and knock you down but no, you were not made of glass, and would not be broken. You ducked and in a swift moment brought your leg out, Kylo at the end of his pirouette had not seen it and he stumbled. He tried to balance himself but you caught him again, with the palm of your hand you raised it into his face, his teeth catching the inside of his lip he grunted and fell, crashing to the mat. You were breathing deeply, like you had ran a marathon, your arm stung from the snap of Kylo’s staff but seeing him on the ground having lost to you, filled you with pride. You were not made of glass and would not be broken. Sitting up Kylo put a hand to his mouth, you could see blood staining his teeth, the wounded warrior almost grimaced. You leant down to his level,

“Do not underestimate me Kylo Ren.” 

A low grumbled emitted from his chest, he moved quick, quicker than when he was trying to fight you. His hand took you, forcing your body on top of his smashing his lips against yours. Kylo had manoeuvred your body so you straddled him, already his erection pushed between your legs. You could taste his blood against your lips, you felt your hands trying to shove him away but your hips didn’t agree, your hips pushed down onto him, grinding into him so he hit just the right spot. You groaned into his mouth, he knew just how to make your body his, with every grind and the roll of his tongue against yours the eventual moan left your lips. You scolded yourself, this wasn’t meant to happen; you caught his lip in between your teeth, pulling hard. He winced against your mouth, shoving you off his body. You were both panting, “what’s the matter, you sore?” you mocked, grinning at him. He moved his body over you caging you beneath him only to grind against you again, you moaned loudly and managed to gasp “is this what you do every time you lose?” you stupidly looked up, exposing your neck to Kylo’s harsh mouth. Biting down on to your flesh you cried out, hand coming down swiftly to slap his back, the act of his teeth grazing your skin seemed to flush your body, writhing beneath him. When you hit him again he sat his body up gripped the material of your leggings with both hands he tore the fabric apart at the crotch. You had been so mad at him earlier that when you changed you had only slipped leggings on over your bare body, the earlier underwear discarded and thrown in the direction of a cleaning droid. Wearing underwear didn’t seem important at the time, you debated its importance now. His face flushed at the sight of your bare pussy, staring at it he pulled his own clothes off. He only pulled the bottom half of his clothes down, freeing his cock and slumping back down on to your body. 

“Look at you, all fucking ready for me,” he huffed against your skin, teeth grazing down your neck. 

"Fuck you," you managed to pant out, trying to ignore how good his teeth felt against your skin.

He paused just over your jugular, your breath hitched in the back of your throat. The idea of him being so close to a vital vein grabbed your attention, the acceleration of your heart was not a sign of fear, it was passion coursing through your body. This is wrong, so wrong. You don’t need this, you don’t need him. His hand snuck down your body, his large hand palming your pussy. He rubbed you, only momentarily. You know he’s checking that you’re ready for him; you’re always ready for him. You try move again from below him, “stop fighting me,” he speaks against your lips, “your soaked cunt tells me everything I need to know.” 

His hips rolled into you, the tip of his dick entered you for a moment before filling you. He didn’t wait and started fucking you. Kylo, usually quite composed was already losing himself. He shouted; you were so fucking tight around him, you know you are and he loves every minute of it. His hand grips your thigh, pushing it up against your chest. Your breath is shaky and you catch his gaze,

“I hate you,” your words are caught in between a strangled moan, his hips rut against yours almost painfully, skin rubbing together. Kylo groaned, he can feel his dick pushing into the soft, spongy part of you that makes you cry out loudly. He feels so good, so fucking good. You want this, you want to feel filled, to be stuffed by his dick; you want to forget how he made you feel, how insignificant you seemed. “I hate you,” you call out again, your back arches and you cry loudly into the room.

“I know," he breathes deeply, "But you love when I’m fucking you, don’t you?” his voice is hoarse, eyes gazing into your own. You’re certain you see a flash of hurt in his hazel eyes, “say it,” you gulp, breaking from his stare you looked away, your neck straining to the side, 

“Make me.”

Your were shocked when Kylo pulled out of you, his hands returned to your leggings; with his chest heaving he ripped the leggings more before gripping your body. You tried to fight him off but he had you on your knees now, you panted in near exhaustion. You cursed loudly when he grabbed your hair, it had fallen out of its bun sometime ago; gripping your hair you could only shout in pain; frustration. The action forced your body back so Kylo could push back into you. Amazingly, he always felt brand new, like he was stretching you for the first time. The force of his body against you had you screaming now,

“You love being fucked by me, I know you do sweet girl,” you dropped your head, looking at your fingers gripping the crash mat; tears burnt down your cheeks; you nodded. You loved how he reached inside you, how his fingers gripped on your skin tightly; you loved the sound of his skin smacking against yours. Kylo groaned, pulling all the way out before slamming back into you. Moans spurted from your mouth, incoherent words and noises as he fucked you into an orgasm,

“I love you, I love you,” you couldn’t control yourself, you knew you weren’t lying but you couldn’t stop, you kept chanting it over and over like a prayer until all you could do was scream. Your body delighted in Kylo coming inside you; with a shout he poured himself into you still fucking you wildly ensuring his cum was deep as it could go. You don’t really remember Kylo pulling out of you or him collapsing into a heap next to you, you however were still on all fours, gasping for breath. You didn’t stop his hand from curling around yours, taking your body and pulling it into his. Your body had curled into his, you felt so sleepy. He buried his face into your neck and took a shuddering breath,

“You are… the strongest person I know,” Kylo’s voice was quiet, soft against your rosy skin. “When I woke up and you weren’t there… I panicked…” his nose nuzzled you harder, you knew he was struggling, “I pictured you on that planet… dying and I…”

“Lost it?” you interrupted him, eyes closed. You felt him nod,

“I know you can do anything,” he continued, “I just don’t know how to-” he stopped and cursed, “I don’t know how to do this and I-” Your hand moved to his damp hair, “I’m sorry.”    
  
You processed his words; he had overreacted, damn right he had but at what point he had realised this you didn’t know, had the fight just been a power play, what had he been trying to prove? You didn’t know and thought better of it than to ask him. His body shuddered against yours, his emotions had wound him up tight. You couldn’t tell if was crying, maybe just holding it in but you knew he wasn't coping well.

You nodded accepting his apology, “I’ve got you,” your words brought out the quiet sob that had been hidden in his throat, “it’s okay. We’re okay.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Damon, bitter and jealous.

Damon Croft, he was well respected and well liked. He was one to look out for apparently. He commanded well and he fought with such agility he rarely left anyone alive in his wake. Any injuries he had suffered had been due to his own actions; spraining an ankle being the worst. He was ready to be an officer, it was just in his grasp. Until  _ she  _ came along. 

She had been in shadows, working efficiently and keeping her nose down. Damon noticed her when she displayed hand to hand combat, she beat everyone who challenged her. Even Damon himself. She was a force to be reckoned with. When they became squad leaders together, they were  _ the _ team. Every trooper wanted to be lead by them both, everyone excelled under both of their leadership. It didn’t take long for them to fall into bed; they fucked at the end of every mission, sorts of a celebration. She was made for Damon, together they could do anything. 

_ “I got Lieutenant…”  _

She was promoted before Damon and he couldn’t deny he had been seething. She rose from nothing and yet here she was, an officer? Damon voiced his frustration to General Hux but the decision had been made, she was the Lieutenant and Damon’s boss. Not his partner. When she broke things off and spouted off the rules and regulations of relations between officers he had heard enough. She had made a  _ fool _ out of him and it ate away at him. 

Damon looked at the ceiling of his room, he couldn’t get his mind off the Lieutenant, even after the humiliation he couldn’t stop his dick from thinking first, she had left a lasting impression on him. There were parts of him that still cared for her he guessed, when he learnt she had nearly died the previous month he had felt sorrow but at the front of Damon’s mind was the vacant position of Lieutenant. 

_ “Didn't you hear? She was cleared to work the other day.”  _

Damon threw his fists against the wall of his room. The job was just out of his grasp,  _ again _ . Why couldn’t she have just died? He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, he needed to stay on her good side. Somehow he would become an officer and Damon had decided, after another round of humiliation thanks to  _ her _ , that he would get that job in any way he could. Firstly he needed to apologise, he still needed her respect and she had been so angry at him the previous week for when he had tried to kiss her. Kriff, he hated what she had become but his attraction to her was something he just couldn’t ignore but he was damn well going to try. He was in plain uniform, he had clocked off duty some hours ago. Walking with purpose through the base he couldn’t help but clasp his hand over his mouth nervously. The Lieutenant hadn’t spoken to him since he had tried to kiss her and although Damon knew he wanted her out, he dreaded seeing that sickened looked on her face. She had since moved to a new area, where most of the officers were kept. It wasn’t off limits as such so Damon took no time in striding through the long hallways until he saw her sealed room at the end of the corridor. He cursed under his breath and approached. The panel signified she was in but the alarm was set and it read as ‘ _ do not disturb’.  _ Damon pursed his lips continuing to her door, he could still notify her of a visitor; she didn’t need to answer he guessed. He took another few steps forward and then frowned, what was that noise? He took the last few steps until he was outside the door completely, leaning forward he tried to listen. After a moment of silence he heard it again, Damon almost jumped in surprise. 

He knew those noises, he knew because he used to make her sound like that, that was definitely the sound of the Lieutenant being fucked. Hard. 

Anger rose up in his body, who had the audacity to fuck her? She was his, whether she liked it or not. When she was still a trooper everyone knew they’re relationship status, no one would dare cross Damon like this. Already in his head he imagined finding out who this man was and beating him half to death. His thoughts were broken by the sudden wail from her mouth, if he listened hard enough Damon swore he could hear skin slapping against skin.  _ Fucking whore.  _ She was crying out continuously now, oh yes, he knew that sound well. That filthy whore was close now. He near pressed his ear to the door now,

_ “You're so good to me, harder, please!"  _ she was cooeing, desperation dripping from her mouth.

_ “Can you handle it sweet girl?”  _

Damon frowned, he did not recognise that voice. Damon knew nearly every damn trooper on the base, so who was it? 

_ “I can handle it, just do it!” _

Damon shook his head. Her insatiability angered him; deep down Damon knew she had never really sounded like that with him. He clenched his fists, ready to batter the door. He wanted to know who could fuck her supposedly  _ so  _ well, he wanted to smash his face. Bringing his fist up he raised it back only to halt, 

_ “Kylo, I’m coming-fuck! Kylo!”  _

Damon took a step backwards. Surely not? Kylo? Kylo Ren?  _ Commander Ren _ ? It wasn’t possible. He took a step forward again, he could hear her coming down from her high. He must have misheard her, she was so hell bent on obeying rules and regulations that she would never sleep with a superior officer. She did after all end their relationship for her career,  _ selfish bitch.  _ Damon covered his mouth with his hand again, he didn’t know how to handle this situation. How could he use this to his advantage? He could hear murmurs and whispers through the door; small movement, a bed creaking. Turning on his heel Damon left and walked to the end of the corridor, placing himself behind a control panel. To anyone walking by he could be mistaken for an engineer. He wasn’t sure how long he stood staring at the sealed panel, his mind took him to many places; the first time he kissed her, they were still in trooper uniform after a scourge on the resistance. He thought of when they fought together, when they were a team.  _ Apparently trust means nothing these days  _ he thought bitterly. His hand outlined the mechanics of the panel when he heard her door open, he could hear her voice, she was telling him she would see him soon…  _ Commander.  _ Damon cracked his knuckles. He looked up and saw him, Commander Kylo Ren walking down the corridor not giving Damon a second glance. His face covered as usual, robes flaring behind him as he moved.  Damon felt his body stiffen, another memory crossed his mind, they had laughed;  _ d’you think Commander Ren is even human?  _

Damon laughed, he knew just exactly how he was going to get her job. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The secret is out.

Kylo had only came to your room to tell you of the upcoming mission to Jakku; you had been in the midst of changing; the sight of you only in a towel had spurred something in Kylo Ren, he threw his helmet off along with the bottom half of his clothing; taking you over the edge of your bed with a brutal pace. After  _ that _ distraction he dressed and asked you to report in as soon as possible, with a smirk he complained he was now running late. 

Dressed in your grey uniform and you hair tied up in its obedient bun your door alarmed. Surely not Kylo again you thought although a smile ghosted over your lips. 

“Damon?” the door had opened at your will and you were surprised to see your colleague. “What’s up?” you holstered your weapon to your thigh and began searching for your data pad. When you had searched nearly half the room and no words had come from Damon you looked at him in confusion, “you okay?” He watched you and shook his head,

“You are… unbelievable, do you know that?” his words cut through you and a heat of anger prickled your skin, 

“Excuse me?” you had barely got the words from your mouth when he punched the wall next to him.  _ Why are men trying to destroy my room?  _ You opened your mouth to speak,

“Don’t acting fucking dumb, I know; just quit it already, I fucking know,”

“Know what?!” you yelled back at him, confusion settled in your body. You looked at the time, you were due to be with your squad in moments and yet Damon had you here, spurting off Maker only knows what. He stepped closer to you, his body towered over yours; this colleague and ex lover was beginning to intimidate you. 

“I know who you’ve been  _ fucking.”  _

That isn’t possible… they’re careful, they’ve always been careful. Your moment of silence betrayed you, shaking your head you grinned. 

“Damon, you know nothing. Get the fuck outta here-” his hand took yours, moved to your wrist and began squeezing. You tried freeing you arm, your skin was beginning to burn at the sensation, “Damon!” Your voice rose an octave, he pulled you close to his body and pushed himself against your ear,

“Kylo Ren…” your blood ran cold. “You hypocritical slut,” finally you moved your arm in such a way you were able to free yourself. Your body was panting; fear and anger coursing through your veins. “I fucking heard you, whining like a dirty little whore.” His voice sneered at you, “does he fill you Lieutenant? Does he fuck you just the way you want-”

“A way you never could!” his eyes narrowed, “your dick couldn’t accomplish half of what he can do with a  _ finger,” _ it came quicker than you anticipated, there was only so many ways or words in which you can insult a man’s equipment. His hand met your face, your lip taking the brunt of the hit. Blood trickled from your lip, falling down your chin and you knew it’d mark. Kylo will kill him. When you grinned at the thought of Kylo slicing through Damon’s skin you saw Damon’s hand raise again, you were quick to move out of the way and bring your clenched fist to his ribs, watching him bent over and gasping you wiped the blood from your mouth on the back of your hand, “get out Damon before I shoot you.”

Damon lifted himself, still a hint of grimace sketched upon his features,

“You’ll regret this Lieutenant,” 

He scattered from the room, the door sliding shut. The moment you were shut off from the world you ran to the holoprojector, you had to warn Kylo. 

“I’m sorry Lieutenant,” one of the officers from the deck answered the message which had been directed to Commander Ren, “things couldn’t wait and he and a crew have already left for Jakku.”

 

**

 

Everything was in disarray, Jakku had gone so well; they had the resistance pilot and Kylo had extracted what he needed. Then, one of their own, FN-2187 had made himself a traitor. He had taken the pilot and escaped from the First Order. Kylo was at a control panel trying to calm himself, he thought of her and her sweet smile; his shoulders relaxed. It’d be fine, they just had to get the BB unit. A team had since been deployed to Jakku; it will be okay. Since the traitor’s escape Kylo’s hand continuously sat at his hip, ready to use his weapon if the moment arose. 

“Commander Ren,” 

Turning to look over his shoulder Kylo answered with a slight nod to his head. Through the helmet he looked at a plain clothed trooper, Kylo felt he recognised him but looked back out into Space. “Commander, I was wondering if you could assist with a complaint?” Now wasn’t the time for matters such as this, and why would he be coming to Kylo? Helping others was not exactly in Kylo’s job description. Exhausted, Kylo didn’t stop him his gaze only wandered further over the expanse of Space, the occasional TIE fighter whizzing past. “I wish to have the Lieutenant removed from duty.” Kylo frowned, there were a few ranking Lieutenant’s, surely he hadn’t meant  _ his  _ Lieutenant? 

“Who?” Kylo’s voice was low, droning across the small control room. The man took a step forward and as clear as the stars in front of him he spoke her name. His sweet girl’s name. Kylo turned around, he was much taller than this trooper and he pushed his body forward in a bid to prove he was the stronger male in the room. His voice crackled again, “Why?”

The trooper smiled, “because she’s fucking you, isn’t she?” Kylo inhaled at the words, his breath resonated through the room. “I believe she gained that promotion because your dick was half way down her throat…” Kylo was motionless, disbelief flooded his body. “I’d know afterall, I spent half my days with my cock stuffed down the bitch’s throat but I’m just a Squad Leader… I’ll get a slap on the wrist but you? Commander Ren fucking an officer of the First Order, you can’t make that shit up,” the man laughed, it was full of cruelty and malice. Kylo felt his hand clench, the other still grazing the saber on his hip “I want her gone,” Kylo’s hand gripped the weapon now, “don’t be stupid Ren. My team know I’m here to speak to you, if I turn up dead, well… I don’t think Hux would be pleased… if she isn’t gone and soon I will be informing Hux of you and the little slut’s escapades, I can imagine the Supreme Leader will be  _ thrilled  _ to know your attention hasn’t been a hundred percent on finding that ridiculous map,” the trooper took a step back and smiled, “it’s Damon by the way…” turning on his heel Damon walked from the control room, a skip in his step. As he did so, he heard the screams of rage and the unmistakable sound of a lightsaber being ignited.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait in between chapters, I needed a break from social media and writing and it was definitely enjoyed. Thank you as always to my beta Allison and a call out to Supreme8Pack for the comment that made me want to write my ass off so I thank you!
> 
> The end is near my friends.
> 
> **mentions of sexual assault in this chapter**

When Kylo left the deck, now filled with the sickly smell of smoke from the destroyed consol he only had her in his head. He searched for her, for her sweet scent; it was like it was on the tip of his tongue and for some reason it seemed off; it desperately concerned Kylo. He tried to look for her again but it was like her signature was so wrapped up in itself, like it was hiding. Barging through the base he made his way to see her, he couldn’t feel her and he was scared. He could feel that fear coursing through his veins.

*

What were you going to do? Realistically you didn’t know where you and Kylo stood… this wasn’t exactly going to end with the both of you walking into the sunset. Neither of you had spoken about it, your time together was spent training, fucking, sleeping. The topic of the so called relationship never came up and let’s be realistic, could you really walk around the base referring to Commander Ren as your boyfriend? Had you not been so upset you would have cracked a smile. Since Damon had left you had curled up in the centre of your bed, ignoring the need to work. When you were summoned due to a prisoner escaping the base you locked yourself in, ignoring angered pleas from General Hux. You huddled closer to yourself sighing and then flinching; Damon had done a number on your lip from his hand. Through the shock of you finding out someone knew about your relationship with Kylo you barely remember cleaning the blood from your face, other than it stung then and it still stung now; tears began to stain your cheeks. What were you going to do?

You had dozed off sometime ago, your mind had ran a marathon and it needed to rest so when there was a bang on your door you jumped, that suffocating sensation was taking over your body. What if it was Damon, flanked with General Hux and a dozen troopers? What if they were getting ready to take you away? Crawling up the bed your eyes bore into the door,

“It’s me…”

Inhaling sharply you practically jumped off the bed running to the door, swiping past the override lock the door opened and Kylo was there. Helmet in his hand, an unreadable emotion sketched upon his strong features. The look disappeared, hand rising to touch your lip, he nearly choked “who did that?” you let him in the room quickly locking the door behind you both. Gently he took your wrist pulling your body to his, the back of his fingers brushed across your face affectionately, you could see the rage behind those eyes pleading to be released, “tell me,” he pushed, now cupping your cheek.

“Damon…” his hand remained on your cheek and he was surprisingly calm, “Kylo… he _knows,”_ to your surprise Kylo nodded. You weren’t sure how he knew this but now that it was out in the open and you could talk to your lover about it the only thing you could do, the only thing your body would allow you to do, was to cry burying your face into Kylo’s chest. It came out in a low howl, immediately you choked on your anguish. You could tell Kylo had been taken aback, his hands not quite touching you. Your body clung to him, you didn’t know if this would be the last time you would hold him and the thought only made you sob harder. A soothing wave seemed to wash over you; Kylo had brought his arms around you into a comforting embrace.

“It will be okay…” his voice, still soft comforted you. He held you for some time, trying to speak words of comfort. At times it had only made you cry more, in the last few months this was the most compassionate he had ever been; Kylo fucked you perfectly, he would sleep next to you and would encourage you but this was him being there for you and letting you cry in the comfort of his arms. He even surprised himself.

You looked up from his chest and Kylo sighed looking at you, his hand stroked your split lip. You could see the tension in his body, the anger he was pushing down; someone had hurt you and you knew he was dying to end the person who had done it. Suppressing your sob Kylo cupped your face with his hands leaning down to kiss your lips, he was as gentle as the first time he had kissed you, in this very room. You wanted to push into him, to feel the full impact of his plump lips but the cut still stung and even when you tried Kylo kept you at bay. You were sure Kylo didn’t know that it was going to be okay, but the fact he had said it to calm you brought a rush of gratitude and affection over your body, lip be damned you kissed Kylo. His hands moved to your neck holding you while your lips moved against one another, with his head tilted there was a hint of a whimper from his throat. Your hands fumbled to his clothing trying to remove them, after the last few months you thought you’d have it down but you still struggled with his many layers. He felt your frustration and grinned against your lips, freeing your neck he helped so that he soon stood in his pants and boots only. His bare chest still made you swoon, his hold was tight and safe. Always safe. When you took a moment to catch a breath you could feel your eyes water,

“Make me feel better Kylo, please,” if you needed to beg then so be it, you didn’t want to think about Damon and his threats and the future. You just wanted to think about Kylo, you wanted him to consume you. Feeling your fear and insecurity he obliged, capturing your mouth in a soft kiss. You whined when he lifted your body, he made it look so easy like you weighed nothing at all, carrying you to your bed. He undressed you quickly, not with the usual hast where some clothes were ripped but just with eagerness, to see the body he had grown to adore. When he was happy with your naked body he removed the rest of his clothing moving up the bed to take your lips again. You were grinding against his body kissing his mouth while occasionally frowning at the cut Damon had split against your lip. Kylo’s hand took your hip rolling you against his pelvis before hiking your leg up over his hip, your murmured appreciatively when you felt his erection pressed against your stomach. You were about to beg him to take you to fill you but the words were lost in your throat, Kylo wrapped his lips around your nipple sucking as intently as he could. Your hands rushed to grab his dark hair, pushing him closer into your breasts. His tongue sucked to circle and lap at it, his mouth was soaking you; your breath hitched in your throat when his teeth made contact with your bud. Your body was unraveling quickly, still rolling your hips into his and your hands tugging at his locks. You moaned words of praise and encouragement all the while his mouth sucked your nipple, lapping it over and over again. Heat pooled in your stomach, your nipples so sensitive to his tongue your orgasm began to roll through your body, crying his name and pulling his hair until he growled around your hard bud. Kylo’s hand pulled your body in closer to his finally removing your nipple from his mouth to kiss you, his lips felt so swollen that another orgasm stirred inside you. Still catching your breath he fisted his cock a few times, eyes glancing down momentarily to watch himself align with your soft pussy. His eyes shut, head resting against yours when he dipped the tip of his dick into you. When he moaned you shut your eyes with him, feeling your body stretch as he filled you, pushing and pushing until he reached the hilt. His hand remained on your hip, your chests pushed together and he slowly thrusted, his movements could have been considered lazy had you not favoured every moment. The way that after only a few movements he was pushing your spot inside you, his chest pressed hard to yours and hand still gripping your hip into his body. Your arm wrapped around Kylo, still pulling him into you, your lips met again in soft touches and caresses into a long drawl moan, Kylo was rolling his hips with a bit more speed. He huffed against your lips, his voice moved through you like silk, caressing every part of your body until you were shaking again.

“Stay with me,” he whispered, the last word ended in a groan now bucking his hips into you chasing his orgasm, “come for me,” his fingers tightened on your skin and he kissed you again until you came, moaning into his mouth trying to roll your hips with his to provide that extra friction until you felt him spilling inside you still thrusting up into you; he pulled from your mouth, groaning your name to bite your shoulder. Steadily his movements slowed to eventually still and he met you with another kiss.

After you had cleaned yourself up and returned to your bedroom you sighed. Kylo lay on his back, eyes shut breathing steadily. You watched his body, his broad frame and smiled. He had made you feel better but you had to admit it was only momentarily, the sinking dread was already consuming you. “Come here,” his voice took your attention, looking at him his eyes were still shut but his hand beckoned you to him. Obliging you got into bed and settled into his side, embracing his warm body. You almost cooed when his hands began trailing up and down your back soothingly.

“What’re we going to do Kylo?”

**

By the end of the day Kylo had returned to your room to find you preparing food, he had left to destroy some poor officer’s confidence, he had only briefly filled you in; that the search for the traitor and prisoner and map had gone awry and no one in the First Order was taking it well. You were both sat on the bed with a plate of food between you, discussing the problem at hand,

“You can’t just kill him Kylo… what if he’s told someone else?” You grabbed the water on your cabinet and took a gulp, Kylo shrugged. “No… there has to be logical way to handle this,” you passed him the water to which he drunk, his eyes still trained on you. “What if,” he passed you the water back, “what if I resign?”

“No.”

Your brow creased in annoyance, “well, I don’t hear any good ideas from you-” Kylo opened his mouth, “that doesn’t involve killing him.” Kylo’s mouth closed. “Yeah I thought so.” You both ate in silence, both in your own minds trying to find ways to fix this.

“I think it’s best I deal with it Kylo, okay?”

He was less than enthused with your announcement. Changing into your training gear you walked from the bathroom, “don’t give me that look. We know if you deal with him you’ll end up skewering him,”

“It’s what he deserves-”

“Yes, we have established that we both want to disembowel him but, it’s not the smartest idea,” You cupped his cheek with your hand, “I’ll handle it.” You left the room together quickly Kylo still voicing his disapproval of your decision, you separated so you headed to train while Kylo was forced to meet with General Hux. Your time spent with Kylo had opened your eyes to his strained relationship with Hux, his crass words about the general often made you giggle.

The training room was empty thankfully, picking up a bo staff you swirled it in your hands. You were so used to training with your hands but Kylo had insisted on bo staff training, you were unsure to begin with but when he gifted you with your own graphite staff; thin and lightweight you trained harder, under Kylo’s watchful eye. You held the staff in a narrow hold spinning on your feet to crack the staff against the training dummy. You could see Damon’s face; _snap._ His cruel words reverberated in your head; _I know who you’ve been_ _fucking._ His twisted smile flashed in your head. _Snap._ You could feel yourself getting angrier. _You hypocritical slut._ You repeated the action until you were panting; _snap snap snap._ Each hit to the training dummy was harder than the last until you roared at it in frustration throwing the staff away. Doubled over you looked at the floor trying to catch your breath, you wanted this nightmare to be over but didn’t know how to come to terms with it and how to get out of it without you or Kylo being hurt.

“My my Lieutenant, you seem upset.”

Snapping your head towards the door Damon stood in the threshold a nasty smile across his lips. “Tell me, have you thought of how you could solve this little predicament?” You watched as he strolled through the training room, hands clasped behind his back. “Just give up already,”

“Damon this isn’t going to end how you want it to.”

He continued to walk across the room coming ever closer to your body. “You fucked with the wrong person Lieutenant,” in a swift movement which you had not anticipated Damon snatched your arm and pushed you to the wall, “all you had to do was lie there and take it like the bitch you are! You were never meant to succeed!” He snarled, like an angry beast and spat at you. You weren’t armed with anything and his grip on your arm had stopped you from fighting back, “give me everything.”

When Damon’s free hand reached between your bodies you screamed internally, praying Kylo would hear you. On the outside however your face remained calm, your body stiffened yes but you didn’t want Damon to have the satisfaction. Kylo had learnt to block out your thoughts but when he picked up on them you’d scold him but now you needed him to hear you more than ever. Damon’s hand lingered between your thighs but you kept your cold stare and he snarled again, “probably can’t feel anything down there anymore, you’ve had more cock in you than I’ve had hot dinners,” a growl of pain emitted from your throat when Damon’s hand squeezed your arm contorting your limb into a painful angle. You were chanting Kylo’s name in your head, screaming for him to come to the training room. _Help me Kylo, I can’t stop him, help._

A wave of fight flowed through you when his fingers tried to press against your sex. Screaming no at him over and over, you were desperately trying to get him away from you, moving your body in any way possible; when you brought your knee up and caught Damon in the ribs he yelped in pain. The blow from earlier obviously still hurting him, “if you had just stopped fucking fighting Lieutenant,” you watched as Damon held his ribs for a moment while you scrambled away from him, “I’m gonna fucking end this.” He held your stare trying to read your movement, while he had clutched to his side you had picked up the staff arming yourself, he looked like a man possessed,

“I’m going to end you Damon,” when he laughed in response you felt your facial muscles twitch in aggravation.

The sound of a lightsaber stopped Damon from running towards you, instead turning to look at the door. Kylo Ren stood, he was without his mask but armed. You called thank you to him in your head but he remained focussed on his target. Damon straightened his body and smiled.

“The so called _mighty_ Kylo Ren…”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this is coming to an end! I started this story on a three hour bus journey and I never intended on it being posted and here I am. I can't thank you all enough for reading this, for everyone's encouragement and kind words! To my lovely beta Allison and wonderful discord/whatsapp girls, thank you for everything!

“This?” Damon looked at you feigning a grin, “This is the man behind the mask?” He laughed and looked back at Kylo,

“Darlin’, what did he promise you? Another promotion?”

Neither you or Kylo spoke, you were both focussed on the man in between you. “Did he hurt you?” Kylo spoke, his eyes trained solely on Damon. You shuddered. Yes, your arm throbbed and he had tried to sexually assault you but you didn’t want Damon to have that satisfaction of knowing so instead called out “I’m fine,” to Kylo. The lightsaber buzzed and crackled throughout the room,

“Lets just fucking settle this Ren. Put that damn thing away and do it the old fashioned way,” you furrowed your brow, Damon had no weapon and was no match for a lightsaber. Kylo could end him in a second but when you heard the crackling stop and the saber drop to the floor you shouted. Kylo, fierce in his ways couldn't deny a challenge. 

 _Trust me_ , his voice floated through your head, _trust me._

Kylo stormed to Damon, his fists raised. He moved at a speed Damon had not predicted and quickly Kylo tackled him, sweeping across his shoulder so Damon arched his spine. He fell to the floor in a heap but was back on his feet in an instant. Kylo anticipated his next move, he had his back to Damon and it was easier for him to get a cheap move in; Damon’s fist connecting to the side of Kylo’s head but he had turned in way that Damon had caught the back of his skull, missing the soft skin of his temple. Surprised by Kylo’s movement Damon doubled back but Kylo motioned his fingers dragging Damon unwillingly towards him with the force, he slammed into Kylo’s body where Kylo brought his fist back into Damon’s face; over and over until one hit too hard caused Damon to stumble backwards. Kylo panted shaking his hand of the pain, he’d be lucky if something wasn’t broken. A laugh filled the room, from Damon who was wiping the blood from his mouth and nose on to the back of his hand. He circled Kylo swiftly bringing a leg up into his ribs, right into where his sternum would end; bulking over in gasping breaths Damon had succeeded in paralysing Kylo’s diaphragm. On the floor and trying to catch himself Damon collapsed his knee across Kylo’s neck,

“Look Lieutenant!” Damon called laughing as he watched Kylo’s face begin to turn red, “your precious Commander can't breathe!”

You watched in horror, paralysed to the floor. Damon’s face was already bruising, blood smearing down his face and on to his clothes, Kylo was going to die and you were about to as well. Stepping backwards there was something that caught your eye, Kylo’s saber was twitching and edging across the room. Your eyes looked back at Kylo and to his hand which was motioning to the saber.

_Trust me_

Like in slow motion you pelted to the weapon, grabbing it with a firm grip. You could see Damon, his head turning to see why you were running. You saw his eyes widen and his knee lift from Kylo’s neck but he had been so engrossed in ending the Commander’s life that he had missed his opportunity to kill you and he knew it. You ran towards him and as you switched the igniter you saw the fear in his eyes.

You had never used a lightsaber before, you didn’t realise just how easy it would be for it to slice through skin, muscle, organ and bone.

You embedded the saber through his chest, his weight fell releasing Kylo’s throat. You were aware of Kylo coughing and gasping for air but it felt like it was just you and Damon. You held one another’s stare, the flickering from the unstable saber lit up his handsome features and accented the blood on his skin. The heat from Kylo’s weapon close to your face was uncomfortable but you needed to stay; you needed to see the light leave his eyes. Damon was gasping, breaking eye contact to look at the red blade that was impaled through his chest. He looked back at you again, his lips were moving but no noise emitted from his mouth. When his jaw went slack and he crumpled over, slowly your thumb grazed the switch and the lightsaber turned off. Damon fell to the floor with in a loud thump and then there was silence.

You jumped when Kylo’s hands braced your shoulders, pulling you away from Damon’s lifeless body. You both stood looking at him and the gaping hole in his chest, seeing your ex lover dead had brought out little emotion. It was shock you told yourself. Turning around you looked at Kylo,

“Are you okay?” He nodded, studying your features. “You heard me?” You pressed on, your hands found his examining the swollen knuckles,

“I heard you screaming. I came as fast as I could… what did he do?”

“It doesn’t matter what he did-“

“Tell me,”

You chewed on your lip and thought, thought of his fingers pushing you and the rush of emotion finally engulfed you. In a quick sob you spewed what he had done, how he had grabbed your arm and threatened you and how he had groped you. You were wrapped in Kylo’s arms and he was rocking you gently, his lips kissing your head continuously. Your bodies swayed together seemingly unaffected by the dead body at your feet. He kept telling you it was over, it was just the two of you now. Guilt flooded Kylo’s body, had he just taken care of this in the first place he wouldn’t have needed to comfort you the way he was. “We’re gonna go to the med bay,” Kylo finally spoke taking the lightsaber from your shaking hands and clipping it to his hip,

You sniffled and nodded, “yeah, your hand must be in agony.” He shrugged, eyes still glancing over you worriedly.

“It’s not for me but I suppose I can see to it.” You scowled at his words,

“What do you mean it’s not for you? Kylo, I’m fine! It’s a few bruises-“

“We’re going. End of discussion.”

You continued to fight him on his decision and it was only due to these recent events Kylo wasn’t losing his temper, he didn't want to cause you any more distress. You would speak back to him on occasion but knew better of it especially when he'd remind you of how to address a superior officer but right now you thought there was no need for the visit to med bay and that there were other matters pressing. While you continued to rant Kylo had moved Damon’s body, pushing him behind a rafter. It wasn’t permanent but it would do, Kylo was more focused on getting you into a safer environment than hiding the squad leader’s death. Approaching you Kylo frowned, you were angrier than sin and just wanted to leave but with an encouraging push to your lower back he escorted you to the med bay.

*

“For kriff sake Kylo, I am _fine!”_

He had scared the human staff out of their wits so they would leave you in peace and had demanded a droid give you a full work up. You continued to fight him on it, _you are strong and not made of glass._

“I know you are strong,” his voice was soft and he reached his hand to touch your cracked lip, “but if anything were wrong I’d never forgive myself so will you please stop it, I don’t think you’re weak… this is for _my_ peace of mind.” You tried to stop your lips curving into a smile, he had invaded your head but you didn’t have the heart to tell him off,

“Fine.”

*

The droid was seeing to Kylo and his hand, he claimed he was fine but you reeled off the same speech to him about wanting peace of mind so he scowled. The droid had looked over your body, checked your vitals, taken a blood sample and watched your body movements announcing there was nothing noticeably wrong. You looked at Kylo, your mind drifting back to the body hidden in the training room,

“They’ll notice he’s gone.”

Damon was well liked, he always had been. His crew would notice his absence and Hux would be made aware soon enough. Kylo raised his eyebrows in an attempt to look concerned,

“I’ll fix it.”

You were about to tell him off  for his lack of concern when the droid that was looking after you announced all results were in. You sat next to Kylo, nuzzling yourself into his side. Affectionately, he drew his arm around you and kissed the side of your head. The droid babbled on about bruises and cuts that loitered your body, superficial that was all.

 

_Blood pressure 120 over 80_

 

You smiled encouragingly at Kylo, "see, I'm fine."

 

_Heart rhythm normal_

 

You smiled smugly at him,

 

_Blood count normal_

 

_Foetal heart rate normal_


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my best friend and beta Allison for everything. You're a doll and I couldn't have progressed with this story without your support. 
> 
> I can't believe we have so little left! Mind the tags as always, this shocking turn for the Lieutenant leads to some unfortunate thoughts, can Kylo support his sweet girl?
> 
> Please enjoy x

_ Foetal heart rate normal _

_ Foetal heart rate normal _

_ Foetal heart rate normal _

_ Foetal heart rate normal _

 

The droid went silent, all results and findings having been read aloud. You and Kylo were both silent, not entirely sure what you had heard. Pulling away from his shoulder you looked down at the droid,

“Repeat that,”

“Subject has bruises ranging from-“

“No no!” You yelled exasperated, “foetal what?” The droid replayed it’s finding,

 

_ Foetal heart rate normal _

 

Panic. Blind panic. Slipping off the bed and closer to the droid you nearly whimpered, “I can’t be… I have an implant!” You tried to argue with the droid but it spurted out facts and figures, something about contraceptive implants being only ninety nine perfect effective. You turned and looked at Kylo, his face was unreadable looking down at the droid in front of him. You sat on the floor feeling somewhat defeated. Ninety nine percent and you were the unfortunate soul to fall into that one percent. You looked at the droid, “can… are… you’re certain?” 

“The hormone hCG was detected in your blood. A second heartbeat also detected on primary body scan. An abdominal scan will confirm.”

Kylo still hadn’t spoke but you’re weren’t entirely bothered, you were too concerned about you. If they found out an officer was on board and  _ pregnant  _ you didn’t know what they’d do to you. Or the baby. You instructed the droid to confirm with a scan, you didn’t want to stress about the possibility of this being nothing. Why worry about something that hasn’t happened yet? Kylo removed himself from the edge of the bed so that you could lay down, hurriedly you pulled your t-shirt over your stomach and looked. It’s like you were expecting to see a bump but there was none, you wondered about something growing inside of you… part of you and part of Kylo. You realised he still hadn’t said a word. You felt him in your head but said nothing, you couldn’t form words to say to him so him picking around your mind seemed easier, his eyes crinkled slightly and he sighed. You looked at his mouth opening to speak, no words came out and he closed his mouth. You jumped when a cool liquid was applied to your stomach, the droid had set up and finally a wand like device was pressed into your stomach, the sound of static filled the room and a small monitor was switched on. You jumped again when Kylo lay his hand on top of yours, the static quickly changed and the sound of a continuous beat echoed in the room. It sounded like a train. 

Instinct took over and you felt your body swell with love. On the screen was your baby, small but with one hell of a heart beat. 

“Size confirms foetus is eight to nine weeks old.” 

*

Eight to nine weeks old. You would have been slap bang in the middle of your relationship with Kylo Ren. After the droid confirmed that everything looked normal you had dismissed it from the room leaving you with your Commander. He still hadn’t spoke. 

“Are you okay?” You asked, both of you were sat back on the bed, legs swinging off the side and he frowned. You shouldn’t have been so shocked, like he would want to be a father. You had never seen yourself as a mother. 

“You have to leave,” his steady voice scared you, the rejection made tears brim in your eyes. Again, you couldn’t be surprised. Nodding you had thought if the droid could continue its help and… help get rid-

“No!” Kylo’s hand snatched yours, pulling you into him, “that is  _ not _ what I meant!” His hands moved to your shoulders, “you and our baby need to leave.” The tears that had threatened to spill were now cascading down your face, you wanted to him ask him why but you could only cry. “Snoke… if he knows… he’ll take our child and he’ll…” You cried harder when he couldn’t finish his sentence. When Kylo kissed you and wrapped his hands around your tummy you sighed. He cared about the baby inside you and it was all you ever needed to know. “Sweet girl,” Kylo cupped your cheek, “you have to leave, now.” 

You thought of Snoke and what he was capable of and the need to protect your child was overwhelming, all you could do was nod. You both walked briskly to your quarters, you had small things to take; clothes, small momentums and food. You had no idea where you would go but when Kylo arrived back in your quarters and spoke through his mask asking if you were ready you nodded. 

The hallways of the base were quiet, officers and troopers would be in the privacy of their rooms or in the mess hall. Obediently you followed behind Kylo’s robes marching quickly. When your hands weren’t busy packing they were held over your stomach protectively, you needed to protect this miracle and at any cost. You tried not to cry, Kylo didn’t have a bag… Kylo wouldn’t be coming with you, he wouldn’t see your belly grow nor would he see the birth of the baby and it almost knocked you to your knees.

_ It’s okay  _

_ You’ll both be okay _

A trooper shied away from you both, well, more than likely Kylo Ren. The walk seemed to take forever and you almost didn’t want it to end, you wanted to hold Kylo and kiss him. You wanted him to play with your hair and warm your body, you just wanted him to love you. He pressed his thoughts into your head comforting you to the best of his ability. The open hanger was full of engineers and TIE fighters, Kylo lead you deeper into the hanger until you were met with a small pod where he pulled his mask off. 

“Kylo… what now?” You looked at the small space craft, its dashboard already lit up with coordinates. You looked at Kylo fearfully and noticed he was sweating and looked pained, “Kylo… what’s the matter?” Your bags were laid down out from the shuttle, you were desperate to delay the inevitable. Kylo flinched when you took his hand, 

“Keeping  _ him _ out! If he knows...” Kylo sighed in exasperation, unable to finish the sentence. 

Supreme Leader would do anything to keep order and if there was a legacy from Kylo Ren he would want it. All of it. Fear prickled your skin and again, your hands held your stomach. “Listen to me sweet girl,” you were brought out of your thoughts, Kylo pulled you into his body, “you are going to leave… I’m not telling you where you’re going… I don’t even know…”

“Kylo…” you started crying, this was happening too fast. 

“Shh…” he held your shoulders looking down into your eyes, “you’re going to go and you’re going to grow that baby… I’ll find you.”

“When?”

He paused and bit his lip, searching yours as if searching for his own answer and all he could say was “I’ll find you.” You grappled onto his body, face buried into his neck and sobbing. The emotions were too much, your encounter with Damon, the now revealed and confusing pregnancy, being forced away from this man. When Kylo held you in his arms he continued to mutter that he’ll find you and you’ll be okay but it wasn’t enough, you just wanted him. He began to sweat harder, the strength it was taking for him to block out the Supreme Leader was becoming too much. You could see the pain etched on his face, the sinking feeling of defeat washed over you and you knew it was over, 

“I ran away,” you tried to think of a story, something that would help Kylo, “me and Damon, we left.” It made sense, your relationship had not been much of a secret between other troopers and it would more than likely be believed. Kylo nodded, 

“You have to go sweet girl,” Kylo’s hands cupped your face again and kissed you with such passion your knees buckled. Your tears hadn’t stopped and you could swear Kylo was holding his own back, he opened his mouth to speak but stopped coughing to clear his throat, “go, please…”

He loaded you into the shuttle and passed your bag, it was impossibly small and felt more so with Kylo looking down at you. 

“Look after yourself…” 

Those were the last words you heard from his mouth. The shuttle door closed and before you could even think about forcing your way out you were being shot into the unknown. Away from the First Order, from General Hux, from the only life you had ever known and away from Commander Ren. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness, are we really here? My next fic is ready to go, my first Reylo which I'm super excited to share with you all but first let's see how the Lieutenant copes without her Commander...
> 
> As always, thank you Allison for your motivation and encouragement!

As an officer and a trooper of the First Order you had travelled extensively, you had seen worlds and wonders that people couldn’t even dream of seeing but when your shuttle landed on a beach what felt like days later you did not recognise it. You didn’t recognise the black sand pressed against your boots or the greenery that surrounded you, the birds that flew above you were ones that had never crossed your path. You walked in a small circle with your bags slung over your shoulder looking at the environment around you. Your eyes stung, you had cried over everything on the journey; from losing Kylo to the fear of motherhood and now the unknown island you had been sent to. When a loud pop emitted from the shuttle and you watched it self destruct you knew you were here for good. In the distance you could see what looked like tree houses, dozens of them so that’s where you decided to start. To find someone who could offer work, to maybe even help with your pregnancy… you cursed, you didn’t know what life, if any, was on this planet, would they know human anatomy? All you knew for sure that you were going to follow your Commander’s last order;  _ look after yourself. _

 

*

 

You had a sneaking suspicion that Kylo had an idea of where your shuttle would land; it was full of kind creatures where food grew on every tree, the weather a perfect balance of rain and sun. You had been so surprised to walk into the village and not be stared at or to have felt threatened, it was home to mostly the species of Bivall, again another suspicion that Kylo knew something about this place. It was too perfect to land on a planet this providing with a species who were known for their high intelligence; within days of your arrival you had found a physician named Ardeema who examined you, removed the implant from your arm and pointed you in the direction of a farm where there was the chance of a job.

And here you were, reaching on tipped toes to pull another plum from the stocky branch above you. Your basket was nearly full and you knew Judro the farmer would be here to check up on you soon. You were one of few humans in the village and the excitement of a baby had spread like wildfire; it was like a breath of fresh air being in an environment so welcoming, so caring. No one asked about the father, something you were pleased about because even now, months after you had last seen him, you still couldn’t make up a story about his absence. You sat on the stool given by Judro and sighed, it was somewhat content but there was no masking the sadness in your eyes. You still didn’t know what part of the galaxy you now lived on but there was no mention of the Resistance, nothing of the First Order or Supreme Leader. Absentmindedly you stroked your growing belly, now somewhere around the twenty week mark. You looked at your stomach, your heart fluttered when you felt the tiny kicks of your child. You thought, trying to scream the message across the universe so he would know,

_ Kylo, our baby is kicking _

 

_ * _

 

Being pregnant was exhausting. You were tired all the time and you wondered if every woman felt this way? Not only were you tired you were hungry all the time, and probably worst of all you felt like a horny teenager. Being apart from Kylo Ren had been a challenge in its own but right now you wanted nothing more than for him to turn up and take you over the fruit stall that Judro now  had you working on. He had taken you off the farm and to the small village stall, it wasn’t so bad. You pushed the thought of Kylo pounding into you and sighed. You were sat relatively comfortable while selling the delicious fruits and speaking to the many villagers. You had picked up the local dialect and used it more than you did your own language. When a Bivall couple approached, their children scampering around their legs you smiled brightly. The Bivall woman congratulated you, your pregnant belly so pronounced to the world now. It came with a scolding however when she said you should be in your home and the man providing and looking after you. You shrugged politely before handing her and her partner the bagged fruit. What had you meant to reply with?  _ The father is a Commander of the First Order, he is feared through most worlds and has killed many, he’s a bit busy right now trying to hunt a Jedi.  _ Shutting the windows of your stall that evening a strained sob left your lips, you didn’t realise you could miss someone so much. You wondered where he was and what he was doing but it only made you cry harder; your baby rolled in your tummy almost in an effort to comfort you. You held your pregnant stomach, 

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry,”

The baby rolled again and you smiled. 

Part of you and part of Kylo.

 

*

 

“Oh please, please just go to sleep…” you tossed and turned in your bed, the rain was battering the roof of the tree house violently. A storm this heavy was perfect sleeping conditions for you, there was nothing more relaxing than sleeping to the sound of rain but with your baby competing in the somersault Olympics sleep was not coming to you. You rubbed your stomach soothingly, laying on your side to watch the streaks of lightning across the ocean. You counted how far away it was with every rumble of thunder. Hearing your pleas your baby held its position only kicking tiny bunny like kicks. “Thank you…” you matched your grown baby, tucking into the foetal position to continue to watch the storm outside. You had what you hoped was days left of your pregnancy, the baby growing inside you had succeeded in making you feel gigantic. You were visiting Ardeema every day hoping she’d induce your labour, she did not. You thought of Kylo and how large he was, of course his baby would be big. You resented him in this moment. You also resented Ardeema. 

Your eyes grew drowsy finally soothed by the sound of rain but when you heard the crackle of wood snapping beneath your home your body stiffened, no one in their right mind would be out in this storm, in the whole time you had lived here no one left the comfort of their homes at this time of night and definitely not in this type of weather. Your hand reached beneath the bed for the gun you had arrived on this planet with; shuffling up the bed you pointed it at the doorway, one arm curled around your belly protectively.  _ You are strong, you will not be broken.  _

The noises of something, or someone was near you. Taking careful steps and pausing every so often making the floors of your home creak and groan. Your hand tightened around the gun, finger straining on the trigger, 

“I am armed and I will kill you,” your voice carried across the small room, you could still hold a strong voice even if your arms shook with fear, the need to protect your baby was like nothing you had felt, it pulsated throughout your body; the baby began to somersault again. You repeated your threat in the village’s language. The movement had stopped as far as you could tell, maybe the threat had been enough to make the person scarper. Had you imagined it? You’d ask Judro in the morning if anyone had been having problems with break ins and intruders, your hand was still pointing the gun at the door. There was another creak on the flooring. You had not imagined it. Your whole body seemed to shiver, every goosebump that rose on your skin was felt, the hairs on the back of your neck and then a familiar ache in your head. 

It couldn’t be.

You hadn’t felt that ache in months.

“I found you…” 

Your baby flipped around your tummy, dropping the gun from your hand you became aware of the tears streaming down your cheeks. It couldn’t be. The voice moved through you gently, stirring the baby inside you as if it was in excitement, the voice continued, “Sweet girl.”

There someone stood, an outline in the shadows dressed in nothing but black. You held the sheet from your bed close to your body, shuffling higher up the bed away from this person. It couldn’t be. You had dreamt of this moment since the minute you landed on the planet, waking up in fits of tears when you realised it was just a dream. The floor creaked again, there was a flash of lightning, your room lit up and the fear that had gripped you to the bed melted.

He was there, in front of you. 

“You’re here…” your voice was a croak, a hiccup of emotion following it. His tall frame moved to the edge of your bed, sitting and watching you. You willed your body to move, edging down the bed to take him in. “Your face…” from above his eye and down his cheek, across his neck and into the depth of his clothing was a red scar. You reached out with a shaking hand, your finger tracing the line across his face horrified someone had done this to him. You stayed like that for a moment holding his face, he leant into the warmth of your hand and sighed. So many questions brewed in your head, 

_ Do the First Order know we’re here? _

_ Will Snoke follow Kylo?  _

_ Are we safe? _

He answered for you, “Snoke is dead. We’re safe. I wouldn’t have come here if I couldn’t give you that guarantee.” His eyes searched yours before looking down your frame to the swollen belly that carried his child. “Can I?” He moved his hand to your stomach hesitantly. 

He was here. He had found you. “It’s really you?” Your voice dripping with disbelief. 

“It’s me…”

Scrambling off the bed sheets you threw yourself into his arms and began to cry, caught off guard he stumbled but gripped you. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry you did this alone,” you clutched on to him, you didn’t care about that, he was here now. He was holding you and your child, the baby rolled in your stomach again to which Kylo stilled, feeling his child move. He carried you up the bed until you both lay, bundled into his arms with his hands on your stomach. You could feel his tears on your skin, the rumbling of thunder rolling through the room. Kylo sighed,

“I found you.”


	12. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling super weird that this is over? I started writing this so long ago, before I was really apart of this wonderful fandom and now it's the end. Thank you to every hit, comment and kudos. Every single one means the world to me. As always, my beta and best friend Allison has been my rock.
> 
> Please enjoy the Lieutenant and Kylo's final chapter, see you on the other side! x

The harvesting season had been kind to the village, everyone had full tummies and there was of plenty jobs to go around. Nobody missed out in the village. Your own farm had become popular within the village, it only seemed like yesterday you had arrived; alone and confused. You looked at the newly harvested trees, barrels and wagons of fruit being pulled to the storage barn ready for tomorrow’s market. The last of your crew waved you goodbye and you smiled, there was still movement in the field so you followed. You weren’t surprised to see the line of floating plums, 

“Solo, it’s nearly time for supper,” you called out. The line of plums dropped to the floor and your son ran out from behind one of the many trees. You weren’t surprised when at the age of two he showed signs of being a force user; he was his father’s son that’s for sure. The wild, unruly hair as black as the night sky with a stubbornness only your husband could rival. And be that as it was, Solo was a sweet boy who doted on you as his mother. 

“Mama, can Papa make sweet rice, please Mama?” Taking your hand he looked up with his pleading brown eyes. 

“We’ll need to see if he went to the market today,” letting go of your hand you watched your son run away, colliding with the legs of your husband who was walking towards you from your home. His hair was shorter but still covered his ears, his body was just as broad if not more from working on the farm. Thank the stars for manual labour. Solo spoke excitedly, asking his father for the dessert of his dreams and squeaking in excitement when he heard the answer he wanted. Your heart fluttered and stomach jolted, there was something about the man you love holding a baby that made you want to jump on him and make baby number three, 

“Sorry sweet girl,” you looked at Kylo, he still favoured mostly black clothing, not quite the uniform he wore before but he was just as handsome. Kylo leant down to kiss you, “Cado woke up and I don’t have the proper equipment,” he laughed against your lips handing you your three month old son who had been fussing in his father’s arms. Your children came from a strong gene pool with your second son already showing a mop of black hair and his eyes dark, he was the spitting image of Solo when he had been a baby. Both their father’s double. The difference with your sons was that Solo had been an incredibly fussy baby, Cado it seemed had inherited your attitude, a laid back baby who wanted nothing but to eat and sleep and although he was fussing now he was worlds away from his father and brother. You walked back to your home together opting to sit in the open garden where you could nurse Cado, basking in the early evening sun while Kylo made dinner (followed by the small dish of sweet rice).

 

*

 

When Solo and Cado were sound asleep, your home cleaned and locked up your husband took you to bed. Stripping you of your clothing and being careful to kiss every inch of skin, he spoke in quiet whispers telling you how beautiful you were, how much he loved you. Your body quivered beneath his, legs wrapped around his waist forcing him deeper into your body. He moved at a deliciously slow pace, his forearms held him up so that he was just above your face showering you in kisses, he’d rest his lips just next to yours simply listening to the stream of quiet moans that you emitted. Kylo shifted agonisingly slow, rolling himself into your pussy relishing in the feel of you holding him with tight walls and firm thighs around him, as encouraging as ever he whispered against your ear, “you’re so good sweet girl,” he kissed to your jaw, “you feel so fucking good,” you moaned, he pushed into you at such an angle your whole body shuddered, “shhh… careful.” Your days of screaming and obscenities falling from your lips were over, moans were now covered by hurried kisses, Kylo’s inappropriate use of the force; an invisible hand quieting you when he ate you out but you wouldn’t change it for the entire galaxy. He had given you two perfect sons. Two sons who’d wake at the sound of a pin dropping. Kylo’s hips stilled waiting for the inevitable cries from one of your sons but nothing came. Grinning he continued to move, quickening his thrusts until he was panting into your flushed neck, your arousal soared at the thought of you both orgasming, 

“Fill me Kylo,” you whispered, hips moving to meet his and ankles digging into his waist, “put a baby in me Kylo,” he groaned and he was snapping into you now. The thought of you carrying another baby sent you both head first into an orgasm pulling his face to yours moans being drowned by kisses, the familiar sensation of hot cum roping inside you made your whole body shake. The thought of another child with the man you loved, raising a family on this perfect planet was the dream you never knew you wanted. 

After you were both cleaned and recovered you tiptoed into your sons room, Solo sprawled across the bed and Cado in his crib with arms stretched above his head. Your leg twinged, you had been on the farm all day and then with the same leg wrapped around Kylo’s frame it bothered you but you wouldn’t change it. The injury reminded you of how you had gotten to this point, the journey you had been on. You heard Kylo approach from behind, wrapping his arms around your waist to look down at your children. 

“You did so well Lieutenant.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are nice (if you enjoyed!), they keep the world going round :)


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